Oh dear Goddess! I'm a MarySue!
by Lady Dragon2
Summary: Here's 6 thru 10. No clue when more will be up but I finished up chapter 10 earlier today. Reviews are awesome of course. all authors love the encouragement. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:Checking… checking… checking……… DAMN! ……… Nope.. Still not mine. sob 

Note:I've read a few good tales lately around here involving reluctant Mary-sues. I think I need to try my hand at this. Especially since the plot bunnies have not just attacked me on it, but attacked, tarred & feathered & left me for dead. I do hope you all enjoy. This is pre-marriage me, were I to land in middle earth.

Chapter 1

I believe in magick. I'm Pagan and believe in and practice magick. Why am I telling you this you ask? Because I think you should know. It relates to the tale I promise. I see magick everywhere. A little kid's giggle, a new born baby's cry, a rainbow, the light in your love's eyes when you hold them close, etc, etc. Cliché'? You betcha. True? Yup. That too.

But even though I believe, I'm still practical about it. I mean a rainbow can be explained by science quite readily, (Yes I talk this way. Yes. I know. I'm weird. Back to the rainbow…) but it's still magickal to behold. But again. I'm practical. I'm a business woman slash massage therapist slash freelance photographer. Not some airy fairy, tree huggin', long flowy skirt wearin', bangle jinglin' stereotypical new age cloud gazer. Nothing against those who may be… it just ain't me.

So even though I love… LOVE fanfic, regardless how far out of the realm of possibilities it is, I honestly don't believe it could ever happen. Magick doesn't work that way. So you'll understand why I'm so confused and down right scared shitless to find myself standing here in a forest.

Maybe I should start from the beginning? Ok.

My name's Gabrielle. Pretty huh? Yeah, everyone calls me Gabby and it fits far better. I never shut up. You'll see that soon if you haven't already noticed. Anyways… I'm happy in my life. Sure we could all use more stuff. Bigger house, newer car, more vacations to exotic islands where the cabana boys are hot & serve those cold, yummy, intoxicating drinks with those cute little umbrellas, maybe a boyfriend as hot as them cabana boys?… My point? Oh yeah. I don't want to be in Middle Earth. Sure it's fun to write stories and play make-believe. Hell what red blooded woman, or man in some cases, didn't when Orlando brought Legolas to life on the big screen? Yum!!

Me? Oh honey, I'm no Mary-sue. I'm pretty, and I can say that because after twenty-six years of hearing it, I figure I'm more convinced than conceited. I'm nothing grand though. I have some assets in my favor though. Big bazzoombas that men tend to talk to rather than talk to me, nice figure because I'm totally into EVERYTHING. Gymnastics, tae kwon do, belly dancing even! My personal favorite features are my legs. Yeah. Those babies run right up and make an ass out of themselves. Hehe. But I'm not really all that remarkable. Not Mary-Sue remarkable. And I'm not being down on my self either. I'm pretty, I get attention even now, but it's more of a cute pretty, not that cause-a-car-crash pretty.

So… the story. Ok so we had just left the restaurant from lunch, my birthday lunch, though about a week and a half late. It was a very nice October afternoon (the 20th if you care and you should because it's important) and my friends and I decide we'll look around the shops there at the District. Southern Nevada has gorgeous weather during day hours usually up till about Halloween or shortly thereafter. It's the evenings that get cold. I had been at my day spa prior to lunch so I was still dressed in my work clothes. Nice loose black slacks and a pretty three-quarter length sleeve, white blouse and that was almost too much. Heck, my friends were all in shorts and tee-shirts. Why the weather report? Because besides the freakin' trees, I felt a bit too cool standing there and that's how I knew I wasn't in Kansas… or rather Nevada… anymore. But I'm getting to that. Told you I like to talk.

So Kelly, she's my best friend, grabs Sarah's (she's a mutual & close friend) arm, runs across the street to a store window and I'm walking a bit more slowly since my boots are bugging me and I have this policy about running. I don't. Not when walking works just fine. And here's when things go all… wonky. It's a warm day but NOT hot enough to cause the heat waves rising around me.

"Kell?" I say. I'm confused. She turns around and is obviously confused too because she has this weird look on her face and she and Sarah start heading towards me.

I try to move my feet but the wavy heat looking stuff (yeah terrible description I know.) is getting heavier. And it's not hot. I can't feel any difference in temperature. Most movement I get is that my arms come up a bit reaching for them.

Things go blinding white for a split second and then I dash forward just like I was trying to. But I smack into a tree instead of reaching my friends outstretched arms.

Now just think. If this really happened to you what would you do? How would you feel? Me. Well I'm weird. There was this part of me that was sorta detached and logical and it was cataloging all the info of my surroundings. The rest of me was busy hyperventilating. You see… there's no trees in the Vegas valley. Not like these trees. And it was cold. Ok, not freeze your tata's off cold, but definitely chilly and damp. Dude! Vegas… So not damp. Not even when it freakin' rains, ok?

So I'm seriously starting to loose my cool. I mean, come on. I'm a pampered American woman. I buy my meat & 'tatoes at the grocery store. I have central air conditioning and heating. I may live in a big dangerous city and yes, I've handled guns before, (I've gone hunting with Daddy plenty), but I've never had one pointed at me. My life's safe and secure. I've never felt REAL fear before. Sure I've been afraid of getting caught sneaking around being a brat as a kid. Yeah I've been afraid of getting fired because I made a stupid mistake and the boss is an ass. Hell I've even been genuinely spooked in a dark parking lot at night. But never real fear. Never that cold terror that really really does turn your blood to ice feeling. And that's what the logical part of my mind is saying this dizzy, nauseous, can't breathe, ready to cry, but don't dare make a sound, should I run or should I scream feeling is. It also supplies me with a memory to calm down and I give it a shot. I saw on TV one time where the characters were talking about dealing with fear and the one guy told the chick that he gives himself five whole seconds to feel every ounce of the terror. Lets it take him completely but when he gets to five, it's over and he does what he has to do.

So I take a deep and very shaky breath and start to count. One. I close my eyes and feel the tears. Two. The breath comes out in a rush and near sob and I really do feel cold all through me. Three. My friends' & family's' faces flash through my mind and I think I may never see them again. Four. Another breath in, this one a tiny bit steadier and out… steadier still. Five. Big deep breath and I open my eyes.

Holy shit it worked!

I mean I'm still frightened but I keep breathing deep and steady. I meditate regularly, (remember the Pagan/magick/massage thing?) so I am pretty good at managing my breathing. I look around. It looks like it's sometime in the afternoon here too. Ok. This is weird. How in the world can something like this happen? I turn and go back to the place I first arrived at. I can actually still feel the energy tingling there but it's fading away. I glance about. Nobody else there. Good. I don't want them here. Wherever here is, I want them safe and sound at home. Besides... I'm the tomboy of the group. Those girls would REALLY freak.

It's hard to get my bearings. The trees are thick and the light is rather diffuse. I pick the lightest point in the sky and figure that must be west-ish because it feels like afternoon here too. Don't ask me how I know what time it feels like. It's one of those weird things I can do, like always managing to find my way to a certain place. I put what I figure is west to my left shoulder and start walking. Find water, follow it down stream and I might find some people to help me.

I walk and walk and walk. And I was right. West is still past my left shoulder. I know because the sunlight has sunk lower (just a tad) instead of getting higher. Learn lots when you pay attention to your daddy on camping trips.

I really don't know how long I've been walking. Maybe a half hour to an hour. I'm giving myself leeway because that logical part says that when you are feeling very intense emotions time can warp a bit. Anyways. I hear this… thundering noise sorta ahead of me but left and getting louder. First thing I think of is horses. But it doesn't sound quite the same. Of course it wouldn't would it? Only horses I've ever heard in a dead run are on TV and in movies and those are sound effects. Regardless, I keep moving forward and the sound gets louder and louder.

I come through some particularly thick bushes and can see what looks like a dirt road ahead of me. The thundering is way loud now and BAM…Zoom… right past me on the road, damn well flying low goes what I think was a white horse with a person or two on it.

Good to know my instincts are still functioning. I duck behind the nearest tree (it was right there nearly in front of me anyways, and think little brown lizard like thoughts and hope I don't get seen. The thundering reaches a whole new level of loud and Fuck me sideways those are Ring Wraiths!!!

OK, until now I really thought Peter Jackson had done a great job of making them look scary. Doesn't hold a candle to the real thing. The white horse must have been Glorfindel and Frodo.

Bet you're wondering how I went from where the hell on EARTH am I to sudden belief of being in Middle Earth. Well… I saw Ring Wraiths. You'd change your mind in a hurry too. Sure thoughts of maybe they're filming or this is a joke passed through my head. But that cold fear was back and well, I just suddenly KNEW where I was.

I waited for a few minutes and figured that it'd be safe to head out. At least I had a direction to go now that wasn't random. If I follow the Wraiths and cross the river, I should stumble upon Rivendell sometime by tonight. I hope anyways. It's already chilly out and I don't like the cold.

Please review. No I'm not stopping Jadelle. Just had to get this started because it's interfering with the other since I can't imagine anything else right now. I've got chapter 21 for Jadelle done and have a start on 22. Feels like an odd place to stop this chapter but I need to sleep. Hugz & let me know what you think.. I LIVE for reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer:None are mine but for myself.

A/N:Welcome to chapter 2. I honestly don't know where I'm going with this story. Do please bear with me & enjoy the ramblings. Also.. Do review! Hugz

Chapter 2

I was actually quite close to the Ford of Bruenen. It was only about a ten minute walk from where I stepped onto the road. I kept looking back over my shoulder. I really can't remember how far behind the Wraiths Aragorn and the other Hobbits were.

At the Ford I removed my boots and hiked my slacks up as high as possible. The river was not very deep at all here; maybe a foot or two at the deepest, but it was damned cold. I poked my big toe in and looked upstream just waiting for the water horses to come charging after me. Nothing happened so I took a deep breath and dashed across the water.

I arrived on the other side completely unscathed and tip-toed to a grassy patch with a conveniently sized rock and took a seat. No sense putting back on my socks and boots when I'd just get them all wet. Better to wait and air dry. That and my heart was racing. I needed to sit for a moment and collect myself.

That logical part of me hooked back in and I started to recall bits of the story. I've read Lord of the Rings numerous times. Can't count how many times. I have also seen the movies more times than I care to admit. I figured if I just sat here long enough, Glorfindel and Elrond's boys would be down this way looking for the Wraiths. Either them or Aragorn and the Hobbits. I really have no clue who'd arrive first and I'm not particularly sure I should run into any of them. I don't know what my presence will do to the story line. I don't want to hold anyone up.

With a sigh, I put back on my socks and shoes and started up the road again. Better to move ahead than mess up Aragorn's trip. No telling what they'd think of me and I'd rather enter Rivendell peacefully than as a prisoner.

Having decided to stay out of sight, I walked near the edge of the rode. All the easier to dive into the trees & hide if need be. I hadn't needed to worry though. I walked until dusk without seeing a soul. They're Elves so I may had been spotted but no one showed themselves to me.

I came up a slight incline & the trees parted and BAM!! There was Rivendell. And baby, when I say bam, I mean BAM!! The vision hit me like a freight train, a mack truck, a piano from the 10th floor! Pick your analogy! One second I'm surrounded by trees, nice trees really, then next… BAM!!! Architectural wonderland! Sweeping arches and gabled roofs and gazebos and, and, and… And even at such a distance I could see that there were intricate designs carved EVERYWHERE. Guess when you live forever you have time to be uber creative.

I'm not sure how long I stood there gawking open mouthed, but I was brought back by the closing sound of hoof beats again. This time the pace was slow & steady, not thunderous. I looked down along the path and saw… oh you aren't going to BELIEVE this… Gandalf! No seriously! No you shut up! It was Gandalf! He was on a tan colored horse walking calm as you please up to me.

I stood rooted to the spot trying to decide whether I should giggle madly at seeing Gandalf or be all stoic & serious and try to make a good impression. I settled on a nice and probably relieved looking smile (relieved because I was now pretty much guaranteed a warm bed & some nice food) and a softly spoken "Hello."

Gandalf smiled warmly in return and then rattled off a string of words that made no sense to me what so ever. He must have noticed my confusion because he hopped down (rather spry for an ancient dude) and spoke slower. I still didn't catch it & shook my head slightly. Slow didn't help. He wasn't speaking English. He cocked his head to the side a bit and tried a different language. Obviously different but no more understandable to little old me. I decided I'd give it a try instead of letting him go through all the languages he knew.

"My name is Gabrielle and I don't know how I ended up here. Ok, I mean, I know the series of events but I don't know HOW it happened, like what weird cosmic anomaly brought me here or wormhole or whatever. And are you getting any of this because you look like you don't understand a word I'm saying." I babbled.

And nope he didn't look like he knew what I was saying. He looked like he was really trying to understand but I could tell he didn't. Finally deciding to give up he just bowed briefly and pointed to himself. "Gandalf" He said. I almost said "no shit?" but stopped myself & copied him by pointing to him & saying "Gandalf" then pointing to myself & saying "Gabrielle" with a smile. Look folks! She CAN be taught…

Gandalf looked pleased, bowed briefly again & said "Gabrielle, Mae Govannen."

OK THAT I understood! But I didn't want to really let on because I don't speak Elvish and I don't want to try to explain how ALL LOTR fans would of course know what mae govannen means. So I just smiled & followed him as he beckoned me and we walked the pretty horse down the hill and into Rivendell.

Wow… Rivendell. Kelly and Sarah will NEVER believe this….

Ok I realize this isn't that long of a chapter but I'm going to start on three right away. This is just a good breaking point & will allow me to post. Hopefully the plot bunnies are biting again & I'll have a few up dates. Reviews please but please keep it to constructive criticism. Flamers… I write because I enjoy it so don't waste the space in my email box ok? Also & as always… if you have read What If… and have pairing suggestions do drop a line via review.

Thanks & hope to hear from everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Gandalf & I walked right up to the stairs of the Last Homely House. How'd I know? Elrond was standing right THERE! No no…RIGHT there! No he didn't look like Hugo Weaving, that's not how I knew who he was. It was Elrond. I could tell because of the way he held himself. Very stately and serene and …. Stuff. Hard to describe really. But I can describe him! Sorry Hugo, honey, but this Elrond was hhhh… hhhhh… HOT! Tall, slender, strong looking, long black hair pulled into a few slim braids all around a face of indeterminate age and quite a bit of masculine beauty. Ok if I had seen him on the street at home I'd place him at maybe 30. Maybe.

I realized my mouth was drooping and closed it with a lamentably audible click. Apparently, Gandalf had been watching me because I heard his soft chuckle. We headed up the stairs, sans horsey, and Gandalf introduced me. I gave Elrond a deep martial arts style bow figuring that'd be more in line with something he'd be used to as opposed to sticking my hand out & saying "put 'er there pard'ner." I got a bow back and another Mae govannen and something that I'd bet was a "welcome to Rivendell". Mostly because I understood the word Rivendell. Gandalf and Elrond threw a few words back and forth and I figure they were discussing my inability to speak their tongue when a thought came.

Looked like I was just about to get handed off to a servant, which I didn't want. No I wanted to help Frodo. Why? 'Cause I'm nuts. That and if I really am a Mary Sue then there's only one way out of this mess. Straight through. So I asked… "Is Frodo ok?"

Well… Hindsight and all…. I COULD have tried coming up with something a little less shocking to say. Granted all they understood was "Frodo" but given the situation I couldn't have declared myself a bigger threat had I pulled out the pin of a grenade and dropped it on the gorgeous tiles of those fancy stairs.

Elrond's tone changed instantly from welcoming & a bit patronizing to down right scary and deadly. I held my hands up, palms out in the universal sign of "whoa dude" and tried to explain better. Yeah… ok… how to explain better…. Hmmm….

I looked at Gandalf but he really didn't look to interested in assisting me either. I looked all around & then at my hands, brain racing to figure out what to tell them and how to tell it. My ring! It's nothing fancy. Just a cheapy opal I got in Mexico during the high school trip to Ensenada. I pulled it off & held it up and said "Frodo". To which their expressions darkened even further. Yikes. I shook my head. Ok how how how….? I put the ring in the palm of my hand & made like I was punching it and said "Destroy the ring. Frodo destroy the ring." As emphatically, but quietly as I could. They looked at each other and that seemed to decide it. Gandalf gently took my ring & slid it back on my finger & placed his hand at my elbow while motioning me forward & to follow Elrond.

Not perfect but I guess I make an impression.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in Elrond's Study!!! Wow! inhale…. Exhale…. Ok. Let me just run this room down for you. It's EVERYTHING… and I mean EVERYTHING any nerd has ever imagined it to be. Tall, slim windows with a terrace at the far back, walls of shelves filled with every imaginable size of book, leatherbound AND wood!! DUDE!!, and scrolls. Scrolls!! The Man… er.. .Elf… er.. whatever! has freakin' scrolls! There's artwork & statues & even a full set of very old looking armour standing around the room. The armour was pretty close & I had somehow gravitated to it. Was this the stuff he wore the first time Sauron was to be destroyed? When Isildur failed? I stopped my hand just short of touching the worn leather. Not only was the stuff ancient (good condition but ANCIENT) but it was sorta sacred. Not to be touched by me that's for sure.

I dropped my hand and turned toward Elrond. He and Gandalf were by a large solid desk watching me closely. Gandalf asked a question and it ended with "Frodo". I cocked my head to the side and the shook it. I mimed writing. Maybe I could draw a few things. Elrond gave me parchment & a quill. Yes… a quill , ink pot and everything! I figured I'd start with a map. Now… I'm many things but I'm not artist when it comes to drawing. I closed my eyes & tried my very best to remember the maps from the books. I opened them & started drawing.

"Shire" I said as I drew, then "Bree", then "Weathertop" and by now those dark looks were back. Oh yes, gents… I did know Frodo's path. I drew another sort of Blob & some chevrons & said "Misty Mountains. Rivendell." I paused and looked right at Elrond, who by the by, did NOT look very happy, and said "Imladris." And tapped the quill on the paper. An eyebrow hitched up and he glanced at Gandalf. I didn't bother looking to see the old wizard's expression. You go ahead & guess for yourself what must have been in his head. I continued on. Loth Lorien, Rohan, Gondor, and finally, Mordor.

I looked up & deliberately looked both males square in the eyes. I gestured at the map, sort of a circling motion and pointed at Gandalf. "Middle Earth." Same sign but looked at Elrond. "Middle Earth. You belong here in Middle Earth." I punctuated 'Middle Earth' with another gesture. I pointed to myself. "Nevada." I went as far away on the paper as I could and drew a rough sketch, and I do mean rough, of the good old U S of A and lightly tapped the western region that might be Nevada if I could draw at all.

They shared another look and Elrond pulled a cord. A Elf servant suddenly appeared through a side door startling the hell out of me. Elrond gave him a curt order and the Elf was gone. He said some more things to Gandalf. I'd hazard a guess it was about me since they were gesturing at my map as they spoke & kept looking at me. Heheh. Yeah.. I shoulda been a rocket scientist… I know.

Elrond finally looked at me and said something ending with "Frodo." I took the fresh parchment sheet & started to draw the ring and what I hoped passed for a hobbit and what I hope passed for Gollum. I said "Bilbo," and watched as Gandalf's eyebrows rose to new heights. I pointed at the Gollum Stick figure and said "Sméagol," and watched them disappear into his hairline.

Right about then I heard the main Library door open & turned to look. I forced my teeth together to avoid my jaw bouncing on the floor as two men entered. Long black hair, shining silver/grey eyes, oh so much like their father's. Who could it be but Elladan and Elrohir? And let me just say… Damn.

Apparently things were serious though because Elrond launched right into some fast spoken lecture that I didn't understand a bit of other than a Frodo here & a Bilbo there. The twins came closer as Gandalf took over the narration & their father pointed to my lovely kindergarten drawings.

They were standing awful close for such pretty men & I was having issues thinking. Sorry. I AM a Libra after all and sex is never far from my mind and if you saw these boys your libido would be in overdrive too. The one nearest me must have caught on to something. Either that or he was as conceited… er convinced… of himself as I am of myself. I say this because he glanced out of the corner of his eye at me & I caught the ghost of a grin aimed at me before he got all serious again. I took a quiet and deep breath myself & refocused on the task at hand.

Now. I'll spare you all the hours of doodling and gesturing and frustration on everyone's part and just sum up. I think… and this is a bit of a leap here… but I think that they understood I was not from their lands. Just how far removed from Middle Earth I was, was still up for debate. I also believe I made them understand that I was on their side of the war and willing to help.

Elrond gave a few commands to his sons, got my attention and pointed at me and then pointed at them and made a shooing gesture that I took to mean that I was to go with the twins.

"I WILL go with the Fellowship when they leave." I said calmly before following Elladan and Elrohir out. No he didn't understand me but I certainly hope the seriousness of my tone and look made enough of an impression that when I show up at the council & stand with the freshly formed Fellowship that he'll understand my intentions to go with them.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I followed Elladan & Elrohir not even sure which was which. They led me along twists and turns, up stairs and down halls, past open doors that led off to balconies or over looked open areas of the (for lack of a better term) mansion. I was absorbed in the sights and they'd gone on so long in silence I wasn't really paying attention. That is of course until one twin went right at a T intersection & the other went left.

I stopped and looked back and forth between them. One had stopped. I think it was the one that had stood closer to me in Elrond's study. He was wearing some deep blue accents and the other wore simple browns and greens. That other son continued on without looking back. The first one tossed me a grin & beckoned me to follow. So follow I did.

When I caught up to his side he rattled off something quickly in what sounded like Elvish. At my blank look he literally rolled his eyes! I gave a slight glare and earned a chuckle for the trouble. I hate to admit it when irritated with him, but my damn insides turned a bit mushy at the depth of the sound. How being laughed at was erotic I really have no clue.

"Elrohir." He said pointing at himself. He flicked his finger over my direction and popped an eyebrow up in question.

"Gabrielle. Gabby." I answered. Damn but its hard not to grin back when given a smile like that. ICK!! Get a grip Gabby!!

Elrohir gave me a bit of a nod/bow without breaking stride, said "Gabby." With a slight accent and continued on. Another turn or two and he opened the door to very nice bedroom suite.

Bumpkin that I am I stared from the door open mouthed as Elrohir walked in pointing things out and holding a conversation with himself. Or me. Hard to tell when you don't know what's being said. I shook myself out of Lalaland and moved in to the room. I dumped the backpack purse I'd never taken off down on the table nearest the bed and took a good look around. There was a large and VERY comfortable looking bed dominating the room but there was still plenty of floor space. A bedside table sat on either side and before the now opened doors to a balcony was a small bistro sized table with two small chairs. In a corner was a lounger type couch with pillows and on the wall opposite the bed stood a tall armoire. There was also a door on the right wall, same as the headboard of the bed, that Elrohir now opened, said some stuff & waved a hand around at. I leaned in and saw a rather modern looking bathroom. Ok so there were no faucets, but there was a large oval tub, small water closet, and even a little fire place to keep the room warm. All done up in gorgeous stone work tiles.

Suddenly a nice hot soak sounded divine! Alas it was not to be. Elladan had reappeared and he and Elrohir we chatting away. Sounded like one was teasing the other. I had to look at their clothes to see it was Elladan with the teasing lilt to his voice. Elrohir looked amused then glanced my way. He motioned me towards the bistro table which was now piled high with plates of food and flagons of some sort of drink.

I sat down and Elladan sat across from me. I heard the scrape of wood on wood & turned to see Elrohir dragging the lounger towards us. Being ever polite, I waited for my hosts even though my stomach immediately started protesting. The brothers grinned at each other & I found myself annoyed with Elven hearing. Brats could hear my tummy rumbling.

"So I'm hungry. Sue me." I said and reached for the lid of the nearest plate. It was taken from me and set aside however when I reached for the food, fast hands snatched it away. "Hey!"

Elladan held the plate balanced on his finger tips and plucked a piece off the top. He held it up some sort of very yummy looking meat & said a word. I cocked an eyebrow at him. Elrohir made some comment that Elladan started to smile at then changed his mind & cast a light glare at his twin. He looked back at me and repeated the word. Elrohir sighed loudly and reached for the bit & Elladan jerked it out of his reach.

"No" is a rather universal sound. I laughed at their antics until Elrohir repeated the word Elladan had said & immediately received the morsel. Language lessons. Lovely.

"Oooohhhhhhh. I get it. Say it again." I said while motioning with my hands for Elladan to repeat the word. This time I really listened & copied him. He shook his head and repeated. I copied and added the slight tongue roll and this time I got a bit of food and couldn't keep the self-deprecating grin off my face. I'm actually being trained like a pet to speak. I thought.

Good girl, Gabby. Good girl.

I'll leave out all the gory details but suffice it to say that by the time I finally had a full belly I knew how to ask for most local cuisine by name. I also knew the words for chair, bed, wall, door, light, or candle, I really am not sure and a bunch of other things. And so began my Elvish 101 course. The twins left me somewhere very very late in the night… or very very early in the morning… when I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

Nighty night boys. Damn… know what I'll be dreaming about tonight!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N : I know it's been some time since I updated this fic. This chapter and 4 more completed ones and another half complete chapter (that's 6 - freakin' SIX - files) have been languishing away on a usb key I found yesterday and had completely forgotten about its been so long since I last saw it. Actually I thought I'd lost it in the move up here and put it out of my mind. I'ma look over, and have a friend look over, the others before posting them but they'll be up before Wednesday night AK time. I've already got the thumbs up on this one so I hope we caught all the typos.

For all those who've added me to alerts for my TF fics, I apologize that this isn't an Entropy update. That's not dead, alas my muse just has me IMMERSED in a huge other TF project right now and I'm just blocked on Entropy. It sucks because I WANT to finish that story so damn bad I can taste it, but it's just not flowing and forcing it just irks me because it doesn't come out the way I want. With any luck once this other thing runs it's course, it and Entropy will have been worth the wait.

In the mean time. . . I've been told this story's pretty funny. Heck there are parts I laughed at in the reread once I found it. :O) Enjoy, reviews are always welcome of course.

**Chapter 5**

Birds twittered, and the sunlight danced about the room, a fresh morning breeze drifted in through the gauzy curtains. Poetic, glorious daybreak…

I groaned in hatred of the evil light and noisy feathered bastards and stuffed my head under my pillow.

Did I forget to mention I'm not really a morning person? Yeah, I'm so not.

Alas and alack there'd be no sneaking back to sleep as a light knock at the door brought me out of hiding. I yawned and hauled my carcass from the downy soft mattress, dragging my fingers through my hair as I went. I had a brief moment of horror as I realized it COULD be one or both of those gorgeous Elf twins and I was about to open the door and show them just how unpretty, pretty girls could be, but blew it off. Not really like I had a chance in hell of impressing or attracting either of them with all the babelicious Elf-maidens they were used to. I've got an ego… but I also like to TRY to stay in touch with reality.

Oh wait… I'm in Middle Earth…

I came nose to perky little bosom with one of those babelicious Elf-maidens as I cracked the door open. Her smile was dazzling as I looked up and damned if I didn't smile right back despite hating the early morning hour after such a late night. I stepped back to let her in and then gasped a little in surprise as a line of males carried steaming buckets of water through to the bathroom. The men… and I mean Elf men… left, managing to keep their eyes averted and the maid shut the door behind them.

She gestured me towards the bath and I followed her. Now I've read a bit of history. Nudity wasn't much of a big deal throughout many cultures during many times for humans. The Nobility was often bathed or attended by servants and I think if I've got my history right, honored guests were even attended by the Lady of the house. All nonsexual stuff.

Me personally… Hahahahaha… I'm a modern girl. And yeah I've been bare on a massage table more times than I can count and even did that crazy co-ed skinny dipping thing at the lake once right out of high school… but…

Well that wasn't another woman trying to strip me of my clothes so she could wash me!

A nervous giggle escaped and I shook my head a little. The maid looked at me with a bit of a confused expression so I figured I'd communicate my desire to wash myself.

"Uh… Thanks and all, but I can wash myself."

See… plain and simply spoken. Excuse my while I roll my eyes and remember that these people can't understand a blasted thing I say.

The Elf smiled, probably misunderstanding completely and introduced herself as Andriel. I grinned, sighed and gave her my name, then allowed her to help me undress and step into the tub. When in Rome, right? I got the feeling that little cliché line would become a mantra. On the oddball side of it, it was actually kinda soothing and relaxing once I put aside the fact I was naked and she was touching me. I have always liked others playing with my hair and having it shampooed before a trim is something I'm always willing to pay the extra couple bucks at the salon for. So that right there was a nice treat and made the morning a bit more bearable.

And no… she didn't try to wash my parts that would normally be covered by a bikini bottom. Andriel tapped my shoulder when she was finished, smiled, handed me the wash cloth and then stood, turning her back and taking her time collecting some drying sheets and a comb, allowing me the relative privacy of cleaning my junk on my own. I was motioned to stand and she lifted one last bucket of warm water to give me a final rinse and then wrapped me in a really amazingly soft cloth, guiding me to sit at a small vanity.

You may be wondering why I'd relay all this bathing stuff, huh? Well… it was kinda novel and now I'm glad I didn't put up a fight over it. Really too… how much of a chance am I going to have in the coming months of getting pampered like this?

I rubbed my face dry as Andriel toweled my hair out as best she could and then started combing it. She spoke and I shook my head, making sure I had a suitably helpless look on my face. The maid smiled… I swear she's gotta be the happiest being I've ever met… and lifted my hair up, said something, then lay it down and said something.

Ohh… "Up, please," I said and raised one hand.

I watched in fascination as Andriel's fingers practically danced through my hair, braiding and twisting and poking little silver combs in to hold it all up. In ten minutes… couldn't have been more than ten minutes… she had my normally unmanageable mop coifed and patted into perfection. Not a hair out of place. I didn't look this good as Kelly's Maid of Honor!

The giggle snuck out as I turned my head this way and that, utterly impressed. It occurred to me I should say something so I forced my brain into gear and tried to remember… Ah! "Hannon lle, Andriel."

Her eyes widened and a musical… shit ya not! Freakin' _musical_… laugh bounced off the bathroom walls. She spoke some more but I was at a complete loss after what I think might have been 'you're welcome'. I followed Andriel back out to the bedroom and was surprised to see a handful of colorful dresses laid out on the bed along with some other items I'm guessing… hoping… go under those dresses. I'm surprised because it means someone else came into the room while my smiley maid and I were in the bathroom.

Andriel glances between me and the dresses a few times, a considering look on her face and finally lifts a red and black one, coming close and holding it up before me. Not for my approval… no… I get the feeling such important decisions aren't going to be left up to me… and nods a bit.

I realize I'm clinging to my damp bath sheet when she grins and tugs it a bit to get me to let go. I do. And then get the joy of discovering Elfish under panties. It's more of a slip -slash- calf-length loin cloth and by the time Andriel is done straightening the back of it over my butt and adjusting the cord at my waist, I'm sure my face is as red as its ever been. I can't help but hold my arms in front of my breasts, trying to hide just a _little_.

That doesn't last long though as Andriel picks the dress back up and motions for me to lift my arms so she can pull it on over my head. I raise a brow and shake my head, then look around for _my_ clothes. Yeah… those big bazzoombas I mentioned? Yup… I never leave home without my over the shoulder boulder holder. Damned if I can locate the stupid thing though.

Andriel follows me patiently. I'm muttering, trying to describe with words I know she doesn't understand and hand gestures what I'm looking for while still keeping my chest covered. When my search proves fruitless I sigh and head back to the bedroom. I even peeked under the bed. I give up, grab the bath sheet and hold it out long, wrapping it over my breasts and hoping she gets it. She does and Andriel's head nods in a slow bob and more Elfish words I don't know pour out.

She darts to the wardrobe, pulls out a robe, drops it over my shoulders, makes a motion for me to stay where I am… I couldn't resist a wry smirk…and leaves. I waited a couple minutes just standing there expecting my maid's … that still sounds funny to say… return. When a few minutes passed and Andriel didn't come back I shrugged my arms into the robe, held it closed and decided to check out the balcony.

Gotta tell ya… Rivendell is a beautiful place. Something like three floors below me are gardens with paths and fountains. There are too many kinds of trees and bushes and flowering plants to even guess at, but it's all just… perfect.

Sorta like from a story book… Imagine that…

I can hear voices and lean forward on the railing to see if I can pick out which direction they're coming from.

A sharp whistle sounds almost right below me and I jump and look down, only to spot Elrohir and Elladan staring up at me. By the lusty looking smirk and second low whistle I'm guessing Elrohir was the one to first spot me. Elladan's hand smacked lightly against the back of his twin's head but Elrohir didn't even blink. He rattled off something and I caught a word I'd learned last night.

Delicious.

I laughed even as Elladan delivered another, more weighty, crack to his brother's head. Hell I'm a born flirt so... Now part of me did think that perhaps by this place's morals or gentle sensibilities, I shouldn't be on the balcony in broad daylight wearing a bathrobe. But then there's the other, much louder part of me that's just an _incorrigible_ flirt. And that side detected a match in the whistling, teasing twin.

Smirking myself, I tipped my shoulder and let the robe slide just the teensiest, tiniest bit down my arm. Like barely at all. Elladan threw his hands up and walked away, Elrohir laughed, bid me good morning with a jaunty wave and followed his brother into the house through doors that must be below me.

A light tap at my door drew me back inside and Andriel and another female Elf entered. I was motioned close and the maid moved behind me to take the robe. The other female ran what could only be a measuring tape around my chest, then tossed a couple cloth items to the bed. The one she deemed good for me was lifted over my head and then laced up the back. I hesitate to call it a corset since it really only covered and held up my breasts but… well how about a cross between a half corset and a strapless bra?

Once I was laced in the female left, nodding at my murmured thanks and Andriel picked up the dress again. It was pretty. What you'd expect of Elves, though not all hoity toity ornate. It was a nice deep crimson red… I do so love red, so I certainly couldn't argue the maid's choice… with some accent ribbons at the cuffs and waist and bottom hem of a satiny black. I was helped into simple black slipper shoes and then got to peek at myself in the wardrobe mirror.

I smiled and thanked Andriel again and she smiled that perfect brilliant smile of hers and motioned me to follow her.

Well, I was hopelessly lost about three turns into our trip though I really tried to pay attention to things so I could maybe find my way back if I had to without help. Andriel opened a door and gestured me in, offering a slight but graceful bow before leaving me alone.

I stared around the room, the smells of food catching my stomach's attention just before a low appreciative sounding whistle echoed through the large space. I turned my head and couldn't help but smile as Elrohir made his way to me. He was in the green today and I filed that away hoping they wouldn't trade clothes and start acting like each other. I'd never be able to tell them apart if they did.

Elladan said something, though he was smiling slightly as his twin reached towards me. I guessed and held out my hand, stepping forward with the twirl Elrohir tugged me into. He rattled off a few other things, leaning a bit close and dropping his voice.

Ok… I KNOW he's just playing and flirting with the new girl… but … DAMN. I loved his voice and that lower, secretive register had me forcibly suppressing a shudder of pure want. Instead I gave him what I hoped came off as a saucy grin, tapped his nose with one finger and said, "You're too damn hot for my sanity." I said it plainly, careful to make the tone carefree and light.

Behind me Elladan snickered as his brother stood up straight with a slightly bemused look on his face. The grey clad twin said something while still laughing and Elrohir shot him a pout over my shoulder.

Gods!

Please… someone… anyone… can I just… bite and suck that lip just for a minute? Please?

Pretty please?

In an effort to not get caught thinking those thoughts I chuckled a bit myself and turned. Elladan said something else, gave his brother a smug look, and then very chivalrously caught my fingers and bent over them in a courtly bow that you'd probably not even see done right in the movies. His lips brushed my knuckles with just enough pressure to be felt and lingered just long enough for me to grasp he was teasing and flirting too. I shivered despite my best efforts and Elladan smirked triumphantly at his twin.

I rolled my eyes at both of them, pulled my hand free and headed for the so far empty table just as another door opened and Elrond and Gandalf entered, deep in conversation. Both were followed by two other Elves. One had black hair and a severe expression on his face. The other was drop dead gorgeous. And I mean that in comparison to Elrond, his sons, Andriel… who definitely got whacked a few extra times by the pretty stick… and even the serious dark haired Elf.

I jumped as a gentle pressure pushed upwards under my chin and blinked as I realized I was gaping open-mouthed at the blonde, drop dead gorgeous Elf.

"Ho-ly shit," I muttered and glanced up at Elrohir. He was laughing quietly at me, but I didn't care. I rattled off a few other choice and four-lettered words, figuring I was safe since they wouldn't know the meaning. The twins could either read my mind or were good at guessing since they both started snickering harder as my barely whispered words carried on. I was just glad the four elders hadn't seen me impersonating a landed fish and sat as gracefully as I could manage in the chair Elladan pulled out for me.

Others began filtering in then and I tried to remember all the lady-like manners my Grammy taught me as a little girl. I sat, back straight and hands folded primly in my lap and the brothers took seats to either side of me.

"Estel!" Elrohir's sudden call startled me and I jerked my head around, then followed his gaze.

Holy crap that's Aragorn!

Decent looking guy, really. And he wasn't greasy either. He entered, escorting three little men that could only be the Hobbits. I'm guessing poor Frodo was still in bed tying to recover.

I studied the Hobbits, trying to pick out which was which. Pippin I guessed right away. He had this open, curious, boundless energy look to him. Sam was easy too, since he seemed so unsure of himself and though not really afraid, I'd guess he was definitely intimidated. That left the other one to be Merry. He smiled openly and put his head close to Pippin's. I was the recipient of a handful of curious stares too and smiled. The twins spoke to Aragorn for a moment and then a light touch on my shoulder from Elladan let me know I was about to be introduced. I gave a quiet 'good morning', and by the light squeeze of Elladan's hand I guessed my pronunciation was good enough.

Aragorn nodded politely at me from across the table. I didn't bother standing since my tutors didn't and it'd really be too far to comfortably reach to shake his hand anyways. The brothers took turns speaking, obviously filling in Aragorn and the Hobbits as to my story.

Well… part of it at any rate. There were no gasps of shock or glares of death or skittering backwards like I was an Orc in disguise.

My attention was taken away from the conversation I couldn't hope to follow anyways as yet another door opened and a servant bowed, letting in another blonde Elf. I locked my jaw in place to save Elrohir from having to pick it up again for me and blinked a little so I wouldn't be staring. The new arrival was greeted warmly by Aragorn.

"Legolas!" The man rose and Legolas smiled as they clasped arms in greeting and spoke in rapid, happy sounding Elvish.

Calm down slash writers… It was pretty obvious they were good friends that hadn't seen each other in a while. Ok, it really wasn't but then the door Elrond had come through opened again and an absolutely beautiful Elf maiden with black hair entered the room. Aragorn flat out stopped and followed her with his gaze. I caught the slight smile Arwen cast the Man before she bent to greet her father and take a seat near him.

The giggle escaped before I could completely stop it but at least it was quiet enough only the twins seemed to have noticed. Elrohir rolled his eyes and grinned at me, mischief just written all over his face. He called out something softly to his foster brother and then actually made kissing noises at Aragorn.

I clapped a hand of my mouth and held my breath. Last thing I wanted to do was snort with laughter at the breakfast table.

The spectacle was made all the more amusing by Aragorn searching for something to throw.

"Elrohir!" That is until Elrond's voice resounded sharp and commanding.

Looking properly abashed… until his father looked away… Elrohir stuck his tongue out at Aragorn. I tried not to laugh because I really didn't want to get either of them caught, but once the Ranger stuck his tongue out back and crossed his eyes, the Hobbits started laughing and I lost it. Even Legolas was chuckling and I accidently ended up looking him right in the eye.

Kissing noises came quietly from my left and I smirked at the Elf prince and smacked Elrohir with the back of my hand on his chest.

"You're going to get us all sent to our rooms without breakfast," I said, turning to look at the laughing twin.

Legolas voice cut off whatever incomprehensible reply Elrohir might have made and then I was reintroduced, my story told again… I think… and then breakfast was served.

After that nothing much more remarkable happened. The twins and everyone else near me continued my Elvish 101 lessons until the meal was over and then excusing the three of us, Elladan pulled out my seat and I went with the twins to continue my lessons in a less boisterous atmosphere.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : **As promised. So brace yourselves I'm about to mass post these things. I have no idea when I will have a chapter 11. But I hope that y'all enjoy 6 thru 10

**Chapter 6**

I'll go ahead and spare you all the boring stuff that happened over the next three days. Mostly I just sat cloistered with the twins and worked desperately at learning the language. I was really worried at first because I took two years of Spanish in high school, and growing up in Vegas, a lot of things are bi-lingual anyways, and I _still_ could only cuss and ask where the bathroom was.

Oh… I can also count to thirty-nine… Uno, dos…

So imagine my surprise when I actually started to get the hang of Elvish. Of course submerged and surrounded as I was by it, I suppose I'd have to be riding the short bus to not have any grasp of it at all with the intensive training I was getting. I also had pretty good teachers. Elladan was serious, studious, kept me on track. Elrohir was funny, spontaneous, and kept making up games to help me learn so I wouldn't get frustrated.

Anyways, the morning of October twenty-fifth dawned bright and as was her habit, Andriel showed up and got me ready for my day. I'll tell ya… that's one hell of a luxury.

I'd made a very big point of insuring that I WOULD be at the Council and so just as Andriel was tying the sash of my dress around my waist, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," she called and the door opened. My tutors stood dressed in identical, very fine, formal looking robes.

"Ready?" I was asked and by how serious the question was I honestly couldn't tell which brother asked it.

"Yes," I answered, having been hammered into verbal responses as part of my learning, instead of just nodding. I slipped my feet into my shoes, thanked Andriel and hurried to follow Elladan and Elrohir.

I was finally able to tell them apart when Elrohir bend down and whispered by my ear. "You look particularly tasty today, Gabby."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. I understood a lot more than I could speak, and I certainly wasn't good enough to attempt flirting back verbally yet. So instead I muttered in English. "Tasty my ass. You keep teasing me and one of these days I'ma forget my amazing attempt at grace here and throw your delicious hiney on the bed and break you right in half."

My escorts might not have understood the words but I'm pretty sure my tone said it all. Elladan just stared at me and Elrohir snickered. "Tell me that was a wicked promise I should wait with baited breath for the fulfillment of!"

"Hold you breath," I said sweetly, getting a laugh from Elladan and a pout from his brother.

"Evil female. How you tease me!"

I started to giggle back, but then Elladan motioned for quiet and pushed open a door. It was a rather small courtyard and I followed my tutors out the doors and to the left. The three of us stood off to the side, to Elrond's right. Both he and Gandalf looked at me. I met their gaze steadily. I was here to observe. They both knew that I was insisting on going with those who would travel to destroy the Ring though I hadn't told them who or how many. I'm not sure how much the Half-Elf Lord had planned out with Gandalf at this point and I didn't want to give anything away.

Oh and let me tell you THAT was an interesting conversation. Yes gentlemen I DO know what's coming and what's going to happen but I can't tell you and I can't even tell you why I can't tell you. … Because if I did then they'd know that they were gonna win and that might screw things up! … I simply insisted that I go once the travelers were decided, I would say nothing at all at the Council but I really really wanted to be there.

Took some convincing but as you know… here I am. At the flipping Council of Elrond! Geez I'd have bounced like a giddy teenybopper if the mood wasn't so hushed and serious and oppressive.

And that feeling of weight and oppressiveness increased when Frodo stepped into the circle of seats and laid Sauron's Ring on a little pedestal where all could see it.

Things degraded to yelling and shouting and I leaned back, tipping my head up and murmuring to Elladan, "Why you teach me Elf, when none speak it here?" See… I'm still a bit garbled.

Elrohir smirked at me. "We didn't believe you at first and Father didn't specify which language to teach you."

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the proceedings just in time to see Gimli… I think since I hadn't met any of the Dwarves yet… bust his ax and send himself flying while trying to break the Ring of Power. There was a short burst of raised voices again and a blonde Man stood up. He spoke well, with passion and I could easily see Boromir of Gondor rallying his men to battle with such a tone. It degraded again though and I was shocked to actually feel the Ring. There was a… heaviness to the air. Like it became harder to breathe, and chills crept along my arms and across the back of my neck. People stood, anger colored a cacophony of voices, and then this thrumming started.

I stepped back, eyes locked to the Ring. I could feel it trying, if ever there was a Siren Song, it came from that chunk of metal. But rather than feel tempted, I felt a hatred for it that surprised me. I wanted far, far away from it and pressed back against one of the brothers.

Steadying hands rested at my upper arms, squeezing lightly and pulling me back protectively. Gandalf's voice rose, harsh and loud and the arguing stopped, Men, Elves and Dwarves all falling back into their seats stunned.

Frodo stood and quietly spoke. I didn't know the words, but yet I knew what he was saying. Aragorn rose just after that, then Legolas and Gimli. I felt whichever twin wasn't holding me move and I gripped his hand tight. Looking up, I saw Elrohir, silver eyes questioning me. I shook my head only slightly and clung to his fingers, willing him to remain still.

Boromir rose next, he spoke more than the others but took his place beside Frodo. A shout rang through the courtyard and Sam ran into view. The first real smiles appeared on Elrond and Gandalf's faces. And then Merry and Pippin tumbled in as well.

Elrond glanced at me then turned to face the Fellowship, speaking those words I knew so well I didn't need Elladan translating in my ear.

The Council was dismissed and everyone filed away, Gandalf guiding his eight travelling companions out. It wasn't until Elrond approached me and cast a curious gaze at Elrohir's hand that I realized I was still gripping his fingers as tightly as I could. I released him, murmuring an apology.

He laughed. "Valar! I need your services, Father. I think she broke them."

Elladan gave my arms one last comforting squeeze before letting go and stepping around to my other side.

"Was everything as you saw it?" Elrond asked.

"Things are right," I nodded.

Elrond sighed. "And you still insist on going?"

"Yes."

"Then you are going to need more than just language lessons." Elrond shifted his gaze between his sons. "In Westron as well," he said sternly to them. "You shall need to learn to fight. The Fellowship will have no room for a helpless maiden."

"I can fight," I said. And hell yes I could! Not really with weapons since I only just took up staff sparring, but Tae Kwan Do ain't namby pamby stuff. And even if I do get taken down, I'd had some side classes in Brazilian Jujitsu.

I know I bristled at the patronizing look I was given. "Give me something besides a dress and I show you." I did do my best to say the words with a confident, not conceited tone, but my irritation still poked through.

Elrond nodded. "I think that would be wise. The others will want to see as well I'm sure." He turned to face Elladan. "Find her something fitting to wear and meet me on the training yard in an hour."

Elladan nodded and I was guided away by the brothers.

We walked the halls in silence for a moment and then… "If you've lied-"

Elrohir got no further. I spun, caught his wrist, stepped behind him and had him pressed to the wall in a trice as they say. "I not lie!" I practically hissed. He moved as though to push away from the wall and I hiked his arm higher, surprised a bit when he stiffened, visibly showing a reaction to the pain. I released him, anger dissolving in the face of possibly having hurt him.

He spun fast and swung at me. And damn was he quick! I ducked and stepped back, hands instinctively gripping my skirt so I wouldn't tangle up in it. I dodged a few blows, darted under one but he was definitely faster than me and I wound up pinned by a forearm against my throat to the very spot on the wall I'd pinned him.

I stared up at Elrohir afraid I'd made him mad. Not because I expected him to hurt me but because, well… the twins were really my only friends if they could even be considered that… and I didn't want him angry with me.

I needn't have worried. Elrohir grinned and stepped back. "I'm impressed. You move like a fighter and you managed to dodge me."

"I said," I told him with a petulant, childish tone, though I was grinning as we continued on.

"So you did. Just give Father a good show and he'll ease up on you."

"No he won't. He's still suspicious," Elladan said and cast me a concerned look.

"Can't tell more. _Need_ to help." I sighed and let Elrohir drag me against him in a sideways hug. "Somehow," I whispered.

We met out on the training yard a little later. Elladan went in search of boy's clothes that might fit me until my own travelling garments could be sewn while Elrohir quickly undid the fancy coils and braids Andriel had put in my hair. It was now woven into one long French braid, though I doubt that's what it's called here in Middle Earth. It took Elladan a bit more searching than he'd expected and so we were running behind.

The Fellowship was there as were many others. Some were genuinely training, others were spectators. Whatever… My nerves jumped and my step faltered as all other activities ceased and every last eyeball in the joint turned to me.

"Hand to hand first?" Elrohir asked me. I nodded and stepped forward with him.

We squared off and I nodded once.

He attacked me with no warning what so ever and I fell back, dodging the swing and stepping away. I really had no idea just HOW good would be good enough. This continued a few minutes with me either dodging or blocking.

"You won't hurt me so stop holding back," Elrohir ordered.

I sighed. I might hurt him. He was definitely quick and strong, but if I got a good punch in I COULD hurt him. And I was resistant to that idea. In fact it's what irritated my trainers when I would spar as far back as I could remember.

I heard a voice raise, the tone irritated. That momentary distraction was used against me and Elrohir jumped forward. I blocked a punch that really would have hurt and instinctively returned it. It was blocked of course.

"If you manage to hit me then I deserve it," Elrohir said, stepping back. "I have nearly three thousand years in training over you. Now fight me like you mean it," he snapped and launched forward again.

I feinted left, spun right and… clocked him right in the back of the neck… hard… leaving my foot out so he'd trip over it. It happened just like I'd intended, but I really had expected him to block or dodge or _something._ Shocked grey eyes stared up at me from the ground and I started laughing.

"Deserve it," I chortled. I got the feeling Elrohir had expected me to pull back and not strike as I always had before.

"And how are you at swords?" Elrond asked.

I merely shrugged and shook my head.

The sword match didn't go nearly as entertaining for me. Not until I stumbled back by Aragorn and he whispered to fight with the sword as I normally would but let it be an extension of my arm.

I'm proud to say I got a startled yelp and a round of applause… even a grin from Elrond… when I smacked the wooden training sword across Elrohir's backside a few turns later. He made me pay for it though and my ass is still stinging. I know I didn't hit him that hard!

All in all I don't think I did _too_ badly… Considering Elrohir was definitely holding back on me… I do know I need work. And the twins decided to start on teaching me the common language WHILE we were still on the yard… Oh well… gotta know it or how am I going to talk to over half the Fellowship? And hey… if I can learn to make a few clear enough statements in Elvish, then what amounts to English for Middle Earth shouldn't be too rough… Right?

Yeah… right…


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Things picked up a routine for the next week or so. Andriel put me together in the morning. After breakfast and lessons the twins would follow me back to my rooms where'd I duck into the bathroom to change, then one or the other would change my hair to a single braid and off we'd go. I was trained in weapons until it was time to clean up for lunch, we'd eat, then back to the training yard until I could barely move. _Then_ back to my rooms where a gloriously hot bath awaited and Andriel would doll me up again for supper. I really wondered why she'd bother making me fancy for breakfast when within and hour or two it'd be undone, but… Well it was sorta nice to look the part of a Lady.

Dinner was always a formal affair with full tables, many conversations and really amazing food. I was picking up on Westron slowly but surely but still far more comfortable with Elvish. Too many jokes were still lost to me in the common tongue. The twins always sat to either side of me and the one time I asked them about it, Elrohir smirked and said the Orc hordes couldn't drag him from my side. Elladan leaned an arm across the back of my shoulders to flick his brother's ear and told me that Elrond had ordered them to take care of me and teach me and guard me, and until I left the Last Homely House, they would do so with all seriousness.

I stared at him for a full count of ten before he finally cracked a grin, shrugged and said that the Orc hordes and Wraiths combined couldn't pull him from my side regardless of his father's orders, winked and went back to eating. Yes, Elrohir was by far the more relaxed one, but Elladan was soooo not above trying to make my heart flutter too with his fancy words and quieter demeanor. Especially after we could communicate better and he was certain they weren't offending me or making me feel uncomfortable.

For my part I liked listening and picking up all the bad words the males… Man, Dwarf, Elf and Hobbit alike, said thinking I wouldn't understand. Lemme just tell ya… Elves sooooo have bad words! And in trade for teaching me how to swear properly in Sindarin and Westron, Elrohir made me teach him a few choice phrases in English. Granted swearing was generally held acceptable only on the training yard, but one game that made Elladan roll his eyes and give up my day's lessons had me and Elrohir shooting foul words and names back and forth at each other in all the languages we knew. Of course he speaks far more languages than me and so won, but I held my own for a while between the Thai and Polish my daddy used to use, and all my English and Spanish nasty words I know.

Well today is the third of November and we're heading back out to the training yard. We skipped this morning due to a light rain over night so the ground could dry.

"You get a treat today, Gabby," Elrohir grinned at me.

That grin automatically put me on guard. Elrohir only smiled like _that_ when the so called treat would be more fun for him than me. "What kind of treat?" I asked and slowed my step. The enigmatic smile widened and one Elf twin each took an arm and hauled me along with them.

Oh my… Elladan couldn't wait either? I AM in trouble…

We walked to the training yard and rather than let anyone else see the twins had me rattled about what the next trick would be, I picked my chin up a notch and swept out with all the dignity I could muster. I was doing great…

Until I saw _him._

Yeah… _him…_ the one that the only other time I'd really looked at had Elrohir closing my flytrap of a mouth. My step didn't just falter… it failed.

"Alas we must break our vow to you for a time," Elladan said.

I didn't get what he was talking about and barely cared. The Elf was alone down in the grass and was dancing… yeah totally _dancing_ around his sword as it swung and whipped around faster than I could track.

"She's not listening, brother."

"Yes I am," I said. "What vow?" I shook my head to clear it and turned to look up at Elladan.

"The vow about Orc hordes and Wraiths," Elrohir replied with a grin. I frowned up at him in confusion before it finally caught and both brothers gave me small sad smiles. "Father has ordered us on an errand."

"So my treat until you return is getting to torture him instead of you both?" I gave the still moving blonde Elf a doubtful look. "Isn't he you're father's friend. I don't think he'll be as much fun."

"Never judge a book by its binding. Or neighbors," Elladan chuckled and, catching my arm again, pulled me down to the fencing till.

"There's also a small matter of concentration…" I muttered.

Elrohir laughed outright and that drew the blonde one's attention to us, though I get the distinct impression he knew we were there all along and maybe even heard us. I smiled slightly at him, it was pathetic I know. But I felt like the ground had shifted again under me. My only friends were being sent away and I knew I wouldn't see them again until right before the Fellowship left. It only remained to be seen how I'd get along with my new guardian and mentor.

"Well met," he said, not even slightly winded.

Crap.

"Gabrielle, allow me to introduce your new torment- I mean new tutor." Elrohir snickered and dodged the light hearted smack. "Nay! Beat me later!"

On my other side Elladan sighed. "Gabrielle, Glorfindel. Glorfindel, Gabrielle."

I stared. I was being turned over to Glorfindel… GLORFINDEL… for the rest of my training? Holy shit! I was awed and terrified all at once. And one thought made it through clearly. He was going to grind my ass to paste with training.

Not that that was necessarily a bad thing. I needed help. Swords were fine and I was learning little by little. Bows I sucked at. I definitely preferred a staff, but that just wasn't deadly enough for my upcoming excursion.

I jumped to feel a light pressure under my chin and batted Elrohir's finger away. He laughed and I really tried to remember how to breathe when Glorfindel chuckled and smiled at me.

"My reputation travels even to your far off realms, I see," the seneschal said.

"Something like that." I inhaled and looked between the twins. "Be careful. I hear the roads are dangerous to your destination." Both sets of gray eyes widened slightly before Elrohir laughed at me. And I think it even sounded a little forced.

"It's eerie when you say such things." He bent and dropped a quick, chaste little kiss to my forehead and stood to face Glorfindel as Elladan copied him. "Watch her closely. She's a wily thing and learns too well."

"When do you depart?" Glorfindel asked.

"As soon as we are ready," Elladan answered and I blinked a little stunned.

"That fast?"

"All the better to return to your side the sooner," Elrohir bowed in an overly exaggerated way with a smirk. "Behave little traveler and mind Glorfindel. One could not ask for a better mentor in the war arts."

I nodded and watched them leave. The world spun a bit and I felt as off balance then as I did when I first realized what had happened to me. I was surprised too. Becoming so quickly attached to the twins and really only realizing it now that they were going to Lothlorien to deliver their news to Galadriel about the Fellowship.

And likely me as well.

"Come," Glorfindel called in a surprisingly gentle tone. "I've watched you work and would see you improved before you go."

I glanced up at him, for a change not reeling with how unearthly incredible looking he was and slipped back to English. "'Kay," I murmured, still trying to shake off the ungrounded dizzy feeling and focus. I mean I had _the_ Glorfindel about to help me learn to sword fight and stay alive better. I was only too aware of the honor it was, but couldn't really shift my brain past my friends abandoning me.

Now I know it wasn't like that. To keep them with me was to change what I knew would occur in the book, so I had to let them go. Even if I'd been given a choice. It was just weird and disconcerting. I really needed to get to know others better, I concluded. Like the Fellowship, since I'd be travelling with them.

"Your first lesson," Glorfindel said, tone all business as he launched the wooden practice sword at my head. I stepped sideways, caught it, turned and brought it up to block his blow. He pressed down on my sword with his, using his height and weight to push me back a couple steps. "You must be ready to fight no matter the blows your heart takes."

He stepped back and swung again.

The rest of it blurred into a mass of pain and sore arms and burning leg and back muscles and I just know that I ached and was more exhausted than I'd ever been working with the twins. Glorfindel did not take it easy on me at all. He battered me, kicked me down, backhanded me! None of it was meant cruelly, but I rarely left the yard with even a scratch from Elrohir and Elladan. Truth be told I liked it. There was a consequence for not moving fast enough to block or parry more than being just teased by friends.

The backhand was a helluva surprise and I think he regretted that almost immediately.

"The sword is not the only weapon your enemy may use in a fight," I was told.

I stood and nodded and squared off, ready… or at least willing… to continue. I got a grin for that and Glorfindel continued to throw me around the grass for another good hour or so.

It was growing dark and hard to see by the time my new torment- tutor… hehehe… called it quits and walked with me back to the house.

"I had more whining and sniveling from the twins the last time we sparred than you today." I grinned up at him as we entered the cheerfully bright halls of Elrond's home, accepting the compliment. Glorfindel frowned and caught my chin in his hand. "Come with me. Elrond shall bellow if he sees these scrapes untended."

It was that hand on my face that reminded me just how damn gorgeous he was. With a smirk that clearly said he knew what I was thinking, Glorfindel let go and led me down the winding halls.

Caught and knowing it, I decided on easing my embarrassment the best way I knew how. Flaunting it. "Anyone ever tell you you're rather pleasant to look at?"

Glorfindel laughed, a surprised and hearty one and nodded. "Once or twice." Mischief literally lit his eyes. "You did well despite the issue of… concentration."

I felt my left eyebrow pop up and gave him a wry look. "And yet another mortal falls victim to Elvish ears."

He laughed again and held a door open for me. "I see why the brothers so enjoy your company. You have learned our language fast."

Glorfindel switched to Westron then though and I missed half of what he said. Something about tonight, and though my imagination really would have loved to play with _that_ idea, I instead gave only a confused, "huh?" He repeated it, cracked a grin at me when I still didn't get it and then motioned to the chair beside the table.

Ah, so it was a go and sit there command. We stumbled through a bit more before Glorfindel finally sighed. "This is frustrating. Tip your face up and hold still. This may sting." He daubed something very herbal smelling at a cut I had by the corner of my mouth. "However did you manage when you first arrived?"

"What choice did I have? No one speaks my tongue and I spoke none here. Learn or remain lost."

"They've taught you well. You speak with a clear accent and nigh formally."

I'm sure I about glowed with pride there. Then the other shoe dropped.

"I may need to turn you to other hands to learn the common tongue. Languages are not something I learn well quickly. I doubt my abilities to fill Elladan and Elrohir's roll in that."

"Perhaps some in the Fellowship? Aragorn or Legolas or Frodo? I know they speak both," I suggested. It was something of a bummer that I didn't get to hang out with Glorfindel all the time, but this was the perfect chance and perfect excuse to get closer to those who really _should_ be my friends.

"A good idea." The seneschal finished cleaning the cuts on my face and turned to my hands and arms. "I was overly rough with you," he said softly.

"I think the twins were overly soft." I grinned when he looked me in the eyes with a bit of a shocked expression. "You pushed me and I feel I truly learned something today. I knew I could take a hit from my other fight training, but I'd nearly forgotten. I doubt Orcs will pull their punches just because I'm female. In fact I think my sex may be a fair reason to fight them all the harder do they attack."

Something shadowed my tutor's eyes and he merely nodded, returning to his task. I relaxed a bit. Fatigue caught me in its mighty old grip and I spaced out, following Glorfindel's hands as they moved over me. Something caught a little bit within me. I had the most beautiful person I'd ever seen crouched, half kneeling before me and touching me gently.

Fatigue lost its hold and I smirked. "Oh but to truly be a Mary Sue." I'd said it in English of course, quickly forcing the smirk to a softer smile. "It's relaxing," I told Glorfindel as he glanced up. "Your touch I mean. I think I could sleep here." I think he's rather sharp as his eyes narrowed slightly like he didn't believe me. Then I got my proof.

"And what were your words in your tongue. You sounded wistful."

I snickered, thinking fast… well as fast as I could with half my brain offline and the other half trying to lodge itself between my legs and wanting me to see just how much of a Mary Sue I really was. "Maybe. It was more a… prayer for contentment I suppose."

"Contentment?" Glorfindel repeated flatly.

I smiled again and shook my head. Honesty is the best policy with Elves and in this I could be. "I truly wouldn't know how to explain it to you." And really folks… Just how the hell would I explain that odd phenomenon known as the Mary Sue and why I might… if only momentarily because I don't want to be THAT annoying… want to be one.

The seneschal stared at me for a moment and I met his gaze squarely. We both knew that he knew I wasn't telling all, but then Glorfindel let it drop. "Contentment comes with a fully belly as well." He reached for and picked up my hand, tugging me until I stood. "It is well past time for us to prepare for supper."

"Mmmm. Fooood," I sighed with longing and stumbled… intentionally to get a laugh… towards the door. True longing struck me as Glorfindel quickly caught my arm and looked at me with concern.

My twins would have gotten the joke.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

My fleeting hopes of being a true Mary Sue were dashed the next day when I was introduced to the Fellowship. It seemed that Elrond had deemed it necessary to let them all in on my little secret, that whole knowing but not talking thing I had going on, and I wasn't very openly received.

In fact Sam and Frodo viewed me with open fear and hostility. Boromir looked at me like I was something to be wiped from the sole of his boot and where Legolas had a number of times at dinner smiled and spoken to me, he now regarded me suspiciously. Gimli's face was closed off and I couldn't get a read on what he was thinking. I don't know where Gandalf was and Aragorn gave me one of those sorta sympathetic looks that said, 'let the games begin'.

At least I knew the Ranger a bit better. The twins knew how I came to be here and therefore so did Aragorn before his foster father had told him. Plus he'd been near when the twins took me to the training yard a few times, shouting pointers and cheering me on. I honestly liked him.

Boromir asked something of me but I only barely caught the gist of it. He was asking of my use on the quest and there was an edge to his voice, an undertone that instantly had me stiffening. Not because he had decided he didn't trust or like me… no… because of the little side service he was implying I could provide and that I wouldn't even be worth that to him.

Before I could snap back, Aragorn answered for me, translating the words back so I'd understand them. "She is to aid us where she might. The twin sons of Elrond have been training her with a sword and I myself have seen her in practice. Another weapon against the dark creatures would be most welcome in my opinion."

"You do not speak the common tongue?" Frodo asked me in Elvish.

"I'm trying to learn. This language was easier as I had Elrohir and Elladan teaching me day and night for nearly two weeks. My combat training has been turned over to Glorfindel and we agreed that I should get to know all of you and perhaps employ your assistance in teaching me Westron."

It seemed that with Aragorn's trust and acceptance came the Hobbits'. The Ranger had translated my words for the others and Merry and Pippin both visibly relaxed. Pippin rattled off something and I only caught the word 'right' out of all of it. I think. Merry cuffed the younger Halfling and admonished him, something to the affect of 'not like that' and… well something else too but I don't know what.

Once again things settled into a routine. After breakfast I would wander out to this or that garden with Aragorn and the Hobbits, or Frodo and Sam… Sam never let Frodo out of his sight… and even once with Gandalf. Occasionally Boromir would tag along to harass me and Gimli came once in a while too. He and I did manage to get along fairly well once he started teaching me Dwarvish curses.

That was an adventure and lemme just say… Dwarfs have the BEST bad words and ways to tell each other off! Gimli would say something, I'd repeat it, though the growling guttural words could be tough to pronounce, then he'd say it in common and Frodo… blushing seven shades of red… would attempt to translate the coarse words into Elvish. This had the added benefit of me learning even more foul, unladylike words in Westron, much to Glorfindel's delight later that day when he caught my right shoulder in a hard blow.

The seneschal really was fun.

Continuing a normal day, we would stop my language lessons, or rather, ease the intensity, and head in for lunch. Then the rest of my day was spent getting the crap beat out of me by Mr. I'm too sexy for my sword, bath, dinner, and bed to exhaustedly sleep until the morrow.

It'd been a few weeks of this and I'd managed to convince Andriel that I just HAD to have cranberry sauce with dinner that night if it was possible. She took my recipe and pleas to the head chef and I went down for breakfast with my fingers crossed that I'd get that little Thanksgiving treat even though I was so far from home this year.

The breakfast room was surprisingly empty and I frowned wondering if I'd gotten turned around some how and entered the wrong room… which just so happened to be decorated exactly the same…

But then Legolas entered as did Glorfindel and a few others I'd come to know. Elrond's chief advisor, Erestor, with his midnight hair braided intricately away from his serious face caught my attention. Mostly because he was actually smiling about something. That was almost unnerving and Legolas must have agreed because he bee-lined for me as I took up my customary spot. I was almost irritated when he sat in the still empty seat Elrohir would normally sit in.

"Good morning," the prince greeted in common.

I was getting better but according to everyone that heard me speak, I had a rather thick accent that sounded much closer to the way I spoke my own language. "Morning," I replied.

"I was wondering if I might be your tutor today?"

A smirk slid onto my lips and Legolas gave me a pleading look. "What you trying to get out of?"

"Are," he corrected. "What ARE you trying…"

"_Are_. Spill it."

He grinned and leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially. "With Elladan out on errand, Erestor seeks a scribe with fair writing to aid him on a new task. I was suggested but learned of it before he has asked."

"Mmmm." I smirked again. "And you wish a reason to…" I stopped and the prince waited for me to remember the right words. "A reason to say no," I said instead, unable to recall the right word for 'decline'.

Legolas supplied it for me and nodded. "I would beg of you, my Lady, but then yon loremaster would see through our ruse."

I grinned a little and turned away to let him sweat it out a bit while I did my best to eat with a contemplative air. I let the silence stretch on a bit and when I did finally speak, after the Elf prince actually fidgeted in his chair, it was a low murmur. "You are not… worried," I began in halting common, "that to teach me would be…"

"Suspicious," Legolas supplied.

I nodded. "Yes that."

"Why would it? Are we not fellows on a quest most grave? Do you not spend all your early days in the company of your travelling companions to be? None would question seeing me in the gardens helping you learn the common tongue. It is expected."

I admit… I was feeling a bit resentful. Legolas honestly hadn't given me more than a handful of protocol required words since he learned my story from Elrond. Yet here he was, in need and expecting me to help him. My thoughts must have been rather clear on my face too. It's a bit of a flaw I think, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and don't generally hide what I think. Being here has forced me to change that a bit; guard myself closer if you will.

That guard slipped.

I'm suddenly shocked and that must've shown too as I realized… I don't trust them. I don't really trust any but Elrohir and Elladan. To a lesser degree Aragorn… But not the Hobbits, not really, definitely not Boromir. I certainly didn't trust Gandalf or Elrond. Gimli… no I trusted him too, he was quickly getting right up there with my twins. And then of course we have the darling Elf prince sitting so still and now serious by my side… I didn't trust him as far as I could throw his skinny ass.

And there's where I made my decision. "Yes. You can teach me today."

He smiled in relief and then shocked me by clasping my hand. "I must apologize. I have offended you in my avoidance. I will endeavor to remedy that."

Yup… read me like a book he did. I felt a grin quirk up half my mouth and nodded. We finished breakfast and just as we were rising to leave, Erestor called out to Legolas. They spoke in Elvish as most Elves did when just speaking to each other and I put on an air of disappointment.

"Does this mean you won't be seeing to my Westron lessons today?" I decided to go for the gusto since he'd apologized so sincerely and hoped that he'd play along smoothly. "And you've all said how dreadful I am with the bow…"

Legolas didn't even have to answer me. His mouth opened but Erestor spoke first. "Alas that you have already planned to help the Lady." He looked at me then and switched to Westron. "And how go your studies? Glorfindel brags endlessly about your lack of complaints during his sessions," he said with a slight head tilt towards the seneschal.

"I am learning. Slow, but learning." I grinned and switched back to Sindarin. "And Glorfindel is a good teacher, why should I complain?"

"Perhaps all the bruises to your fair flesh?" another Elf asked and they all laughed. I'd seen him around but I don't know that I ever knew his name. Glorfindel stayed quiet, probably already knowing what I'd answer.

I laughed a little. "Ha! The bruises and scrapes urge me on and I'd rather have the Lord Glorfindel's battering now than an Orc's later." And oh boy there were bruises. My bruises had bruises.

"Spoken like a star pupil!" Erestor chuckled. "Go on, the both of you. I meant not to keep you from your lessons, young Gabrielle."

Legolas and I both nodded politely and took our leave.

I squawked as Legolas pounced, grabbing me and spinning me while laughing once we were safely outside in the gardens. "Marvelous creature, I owe you a debt!"

"Then put me down!" I laughed and muttered as Gimli had taught me. "Crazy Elf."

Legolas stiffened, then grinned at me. "Ah, yes I've heard the Dwarf was teaching you the more colorful side of his speech." I snickered at him as we made our way to a patch of bright sunshine. "Though I would caution you on just who you use those words with. In the Dwarvish tongues they carry more weight of insult to Elf kind."

"I understand," I said carefully in Westron as was the rule. Once breakfast was over I could only speak the common language and not Sindarin again until dinner.

"I have no idea how the others go about your lessons," Legolas admitted, and actually blushed a bit. It really endeared him to me, I'm not sure just how much control he or anyone could have over calling up a blush, but if he was genuinely ashamed of avoiding me then I could forgive it. "Perhaps we should just tell one another about ourselves?"

"Alright."

Half way through to lunch the Hobbits showed up with Aragorn. My word count was on the rise, but my accent was still way off according to all of them. It was odd… I couldn't hear much of a difference in how I pronounced the words and how any of them did. I COULD pick out a difference in accent between Sam, Merry and Pippin as compared to how Aragorn and Frodo spoke. And Legolas even had a slight accent that rang of Sindarin…

When I growled in frustration, Frodo hit it on the nose. It wasn't quite my pronunciation, but the meter at which I said the words. Some I said faster or closer together or further apart. At least that's how he explained it to me. Basically I was throwing my American accent and speech patterns into Westron with the pace I said the words. It didn't make me unintelligible, but it did show that Westron wasn't natural to me. Everyone got a laugh out of Legolas suggesting I was part Elf of some distant sort with round ears, since I spoke Sindarin so well.

I took that for the compliment it was and walked to the training yard to let Glorfindel pound on me some more. Just to make good on our words to Erestor, Legolas also helped me shoot a bit. I'm proud to say that I actually almost hit the target. Though Merry did asked me if I was doing it bad on purpose…

I'm not by the way. Who'd ever have thought it be that damn hard to aim a damn sharpened stick? But it was. I could get the bow drawn back, I had a fair enough stance, I understood how to sight down the arrow… and damnit… I shoot a gun with some decent accuracy! But where's the arrow land? In the straw… two feet left or three feet right of where I'm aiming.

"Alright, Glorfindel, I have enough of this." I handed the bow to Legolas and picked up a practice sword. "Beat me up."

And he soooo did. Ouch. Though I had a chance to spar with Aragorn this time as well as Legolas. All agreed I was definitely improving which made me feel damn good.

Oh… and the cook was delighted with my cranberry sauce recipe. Happy Thanksgivin' y'all!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

November turned to December and it actually snowed a bit. Not enough to stick past morning but it was novel to this little desert rat and I couldn't help but build a tiny snowman, relaying the story of Frosty in Westron to my companions. I still stumbled over certain phrases but with everyone's efforts conjoined and me putting forth ye old college try to make myself comprehensible, knowing I'm riding to battle with these men and will need to be, I've made some really amazing progress. I'm still far more comfortable with Sindarin and can chatter away pretty good with that now. Gimli, in an effort to expand my world even further, began about two weeks ago to steal an hour or so to teach me his dialect of Dwarvish.

In truth I've really settled in. The only person who doesn't seek out my company, and I gave up trying to make friends with him, was Boromir. I'm not sure if it was some archaic caveman thing about women and combat, or whether he just plain didn't like me at all, but we learned to avoid each other, and when that wasn't possible, to ignore each other.

I even got to know Bilbo! Totally one of those awesome old dudes that can just rock a story and pull you into it. Sitting and listening to the REAL version of _The Hobbit_, or rather as he calls it, _There and Back Again_, was a treat I can't even begin to describe. I totally sat at his feet staring up in rapt attention, butt numb from the hard floor and not caring one bit. It was so cool!

Then, finally, a mere three days before the Fellowship was due to set out, Elladan and Elrohir returned. I was on my feet and walking before I'd even realized I'd moved. Legolas' hand on my arm stopped me and I glared up at him.

"Protocol, Gabrielle. Your friends will come to you." Legolas paused and I saw Elrohir glance towards us. He gave me the slightest of nods before turning back to his father and the prince tugged at my arm. "Come," he whispered. "We will await them in your chambers."

I followed but cast a look back over my shoulder, all the while wondering if I should take Legolas alone to my room. Sure I'd be traveling with him and eight other men, and by 'men' I mean males of all the races, but I'd never had anyone but the twins alone in my bedroom. I admit, it's an oddball out of the blue type concern, but one that nagged at me as I caught Boromir sneering at the prince and I as we left the reception hall.

I paced back and forth in the room as Legolas lounged in the chaise. He laughed. "Why are you so fretful?" He had slipped into Sindarin and I glanced at him before tossing my hands up and throwing myself down on the bed.

"I don't know. I've missed them. They were my only friends for such a short time, but… I've hated their absence and we leave in a few days." I sighed and sat up. "Guess I'm just greedy. I want more time with them."

Legolas smiled but whatever he may have said was interrupted by my door opening and Elrohir and Elladan entering. I was on my feet in a hot second and had my arms wrapped tight around Elladan's neck in two steps.

"See brother, I told you she'd not miss us at all."

I laughed at Elrohir and let go of his twin to grab him up in the same choke hold of a hug.

"I'll leave you to catch up," Legolas said, touching both brothers briefly in greeting on their shoulders as he moved to the door. "Your student has done well in your absence."

I beamed up at them both as the door shut and dragged them back to my bed. I bounced onto the edge and tugged until they both sat with me. Elladan leaned his back against the post at the foot of the bed and Elrohir lay back on his side, head cupped in his hand.

"So… Tell me everything!" I demanded, looking back and forth between them as I scooted back and tucked my skirt around my feet.

"You know it not?" Elladan teased.

"I don't know everything."

"The paths were fairly clear," Elrohir told me, "on the way there." A predatory, _dangerous_ smile curved his lips. "On the way back our swords tasted Goblin blood."

"They come out more in the winter," Elladan advised.

"And more and more in recent years," Elrohir added.

My head flipped side to side as I listened to their tennis match description of their journey. They spoke of other things too, naturally falling back into teaching me about their world. Plants, trees, certain signs that danger was near, or that I was likely safe. Elrohir mimicked the whistle of a night singing bird, saying that before Lothlorien, if we went by that path, even during winter it would sing. I would know then that I was safe to rest.

"And what of you little traveler?" Elrohir finally asked. "I see your Westron has improved."

It was then I realized we'd held the entire conversation in the common language and smiled proudly. "They tell me I've improved in many things."

"And who are 'they'?" Elladan asked, grinning.

"Aragorn, Legolas, Glorfindel." I chuckled. "Even Pippin says I've a better grasp of 'normal speakin'."

The twins laughed with me. "Well it must be so. Humble yet astute are all Hobbits," Elrohir proclaimed.

"How is your day on the morrow? Fancy showing us your improvement on the training yard?" Elladan grinned wolfishly at me. "I'd dearly love to see Elrohir's backside tanned again."

"Ha! Mine's fair blistered from Glorfindel! It would be nice to pay some of that back for handing my tender flesh to him. I'd show you but have been reminded more than once such things aren't ladylike."

"Oh amongst friends?" Elrohir tried to stifle a giggle. "Nay lady, please. T'would be an honor to see your tender flesh." I really had missed him…

I bent down spontaneously and kissed Elrohir, without even thinking. To cover up I leaned the other way and did the same to Elladan, leaning against his shoulder and reaching back to take Elrohir's hand. "I've missed you both." I smiled, still hoping to pass off the sudden urge as nothing more than a friendly kiss. They'd only been light, chaste brushings of our lips, but I'd crossed a line. Elladan didn't seem affected one way or the other, but Elrohir's eyes were slightly wide, and I'd be no Libra at all if I hadn't caught the slight flare in his nostrils and hitch to his breath when our faces were pressed together.

Electricity shot down my back and I fought the urge to shiver. The conversation went on from there for a while longer until we all agreed it was terribly late and they should depart for their own rooms. Elladan pulled me into a hug as I walked with them to the door, Elrohir did so as well, his hold briefer, and an odd light in his eyes as he said good night.

I fell against the door as I shut it and smacked myself in the head.

Gods… Stars above… Earth below… I'd KISSED Elrohir. And we'd both reacted in a good way… the wrong way.

Thankfully the next day we were ourselves again. Flirting and bantering, having another foul word contest after I swore roundly when Glorfindel's sword… oh we'd moved on to real blades, just dull ones… grazed my knuckles hard enough to tear the flesh. Elladan patched me up and we walked to meet the others for lunch. Instead of more training that afternoon I sat with the twins in a solarium I hadn't known existed and listened as they took turns singing.

I laughed to myself. If this wasn't ever the perfect Mary Sue set up. Alas and alack… I can't sing that well. So when they both began pestering me for a song, and the only thing I could think up was 'Santa Baby', it's what I sang. I did so in English, which was almost strange to hear after trying so hard for the last two months to get my brain to work in Sindarin and Westron, and voice Betty Booped to the hilt.

They laughed and teased me, and I finally gave in and sang it in the common tongue, then when the laughter died down, I had to explain who Santa was. Their faces were priceless when I said that Good Old Saint Nick was a jolly, fat old elf with a long white beard and flew in a sleigh pulled by eight magickal reindeer. And how on foggy Yule nights he employed a ninth whose nose glowed a merry red so all the presents could be delivered to the good boys and girls.

"You must tell these tales in the Hall of Fire tomorrow night," Elrohir said. What made me laugh was that he looked completely serious.

"They're children's tales! I may love them, but they aren't even a part of my spiritual practices." I received nothing but somewhat expectant looks. "You can't be serious."

"They are lovely, quaint little tales. And the solstice is tonight," Elladan said.

I knew about the solstice. Had asked Erestor a couple weeks ago. "Maybe. Let me think about it. But no singing. I don't sing."

"You were just moments ago," Elrohir teased.

"A song that is completely inappropriate for the Hall of Fire," I shot back. "As is my voice."

"There in nothing wrong with your voice were you to genuinely sing rather than play."

"I MIGHT tell the stories… I will NOT be singing."

Of course for the rest of the damn day 'hurry down my chimney tonight' rang in my head. Ugh… I soooo hate when songs get lodged in the brain.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The next day I woke on my own and by the sun, it looked to be a bit later than usual. I had just padded back out of the bathroom when Andriel's light knock sounded on the door and it slid open.

"Ah, you are already awake."

"Just a minute ago," I said and the maid smiled her perfect smile at me.

"Tonight will be filled with revelry. All who could were left to sleep longer this morn."

"And tomorrow?" I laughed a little as she picked out my dress and the men filed in with the water for the bath.

Andriel laughed. "Tomorrow, my lady, all will be at rest until they are able to rise. I shall leave you with extra water and then tend you once more tomorrow afternoon before you depart."

I sat at the edge of my bed, suddenly sad. "You've been an /angel/ to me." 'Angel' was in English but Andriel smiled at the word, having gotten used to being called it. "I haven't had anyone look after me so well… Well, not since I was too young to dress myself at all."

"T'is a delight, my lady," she responded and gently guided me to the bath. I really was going to miss her, and not just the luxury of someone pampering me. Andriel never let me cross the line into friendship, but I got the sense that we could have been friends if not for her being a servant. And yes… that's extremely weird to me. She's not above or beneath me in anyway, yet she's not nobility and therefore serves.

Ugh! It's just whacked out really and very hard to wrap my brain around. Has been for two months now. An Elf… a beautiful, graceful, Elf… one _I_ would normally count as more than me… has been _my_ servant. But I couldn't treat her like she didn't matter, or rather… like she wasn't there. I couldn't treat any of them like that and had noticed the same in the Hobbit's except for Frodo. The four of us nodded or murmured our thanks to anyone who served us. And I'm talking restaurant serving here. Even exuberant Pippin would stop and smile widely at the Elves that brought our plates or refilled our drinks. It was just… polite. Rather than ignore their presence like all the others did.

I KNOW that's how it's supposed to be for servant and noble… I've read my history… but it doesn't feel right. So once I'm all dressed and ready to start my late morning I grab Andriel in a hug and thank her again. She stiffened for a few seconds but then relaxed and hugged me back, her smile completely radiant as she left the room.

I didn't get but a few steps out my door when a familiar, low whistle sounded behind me. "And there is the sight I've missed most!" Elrohir called.

Turning with a grin on my face, I let my eyes sweep up and down his body blatantly.

"Nay, turn about and walk away again."

I laughed as Elladan rolled his eyes and almost boredly smacked his twin in the back of the head. As if the chore of having to do so was becoming tiresome.

"And when do I get my turn?" I asked as they got closer.

"We left you with Glorfindel," Elrohir answered. "Your view while we were gone was more to your liking than ours was to us."

I turned and let them fall in to either side of me, catching both their hands and swinging them as we walked. "That doesn't count. He's my sword master. I can't admire his rump without risking more bruises."

"Ah, that's right… Your poor blistered tender flesh." Elrohir snickered and swung my arm harder. I giggled, fascinated yet again that someone nearly three thousand years old could happily act so childish with me. "It would be an onerous chore, I'm sure, but I could sooth you with salves if Elladan were to tell me which ones."

"Nay, I'll not help-"

"You wish our friend to suffer?"

"-you since then when Father finds out… And he will…" Elladan pinned a sharp glare to Elrohir, "he'll also blame me for your behavior." Elladan looked down at me and sighed. "Though why he thinks I could rein his wayward brattling in any better than he or Glorfindel or Erestor or any of our former mentors, is utterly beyond my grasp."

I ducked as Elrohir swung out to tap Elladan in the back of his head. His twin dodged however, and batted Elrohir's hand away, chuckling a little. We fell back into step as we entered the breakfast room. Today was different. Instead of everyone sitting to eat and being served, the table was practically covered with breads, fruits, vegetables, and cheeses. Pitchers with water and watered wine sat out as well.

"Ah ha!" Elrohir said and moved forward. "Tonight's feast truly will be memorable."

I glanced up at Elladan with a brow raised in question. "When any feast or celebration is planned to last well into the night-"

"Or all night!" Elrohir interrupted.

"-food is set out that everyone may eat at their leisure throughout the day. That way we may all eat and nap and not be held to any schedule." Elladan handed me a plate and began piling a variety of food on it.

"It'll be like this tomorrow too," Elrohir told me. "We can come and wake you when we do and eat together. Even the house servants are released from their work for the night and part of tomorrow. Father also plans a more intimate supper in the early afternoon before the Fellowship departs."

That sadness pressed in on me again and I followed the brothers back to the solarium. It must have been easy to read on my face too because Elladan pulled me up against him to sit and dropped a little kiss on my head. "Are you afraid?"

"Yes."

Elrohir sat on my other side, his plate set aside and my taken to be put next to it. "You've worked very hard to prepare. You will be fine."

I grinned and snuggled between them. "I'm fine now," I teased. Elladan chuckled and squeezed me tighter. Elrohir leaned over, his weight pressing me more into his twin. And damn if it wasn't comfortable. Unique too… Elladan was calming, soothing, just by being there. He was fun to banter and laugh with and he was serious without taking himself seriously. I was warm where we touched. He was my friend.

Elrohir was no less my friend but where his body touched mine, I tingled. They looked the same, yet I was definitely more attracted to Elrohir. Couldn't even picture being intimate with Elladan… Had to forcibly drag my mind away from those sorts of thoughts of Elrohir anymore. And the way his fingers stroked at my thigh through my skirt was not helping. In fact I don't even think he realized what he was doing until Elladan jerked and smacked his twin's hand away.

I startled. It's not like he was feeling me up or anything. Hell he wasn't nearly as high up my leg as he coulda been before I'd have started to _really_ react to the touch. Elrohir jumped too, a surprised cry echoed in the room. "What was that for?" he demanded, glaring at his brother and proving me right that he hadn't been paying attention to his hand. Elladan glared right back and then reach around to hand me my plate, eyes never once leaving Elrohir's.

I stared in confusion at Elladan until he sighed and apologized, muttering something about having apparently overreacted.

"Apparently," I chortled and stole a grape from his plate. I tipped towards Elrohir just a little, keeping my eyes on Elladan and stage whispered, "Your brother needs laid… I think he's a bit tense."

Elrohir snorted a laugh and then began coughing as his food went down the wrong way. I slapped him on the back, laughing at both him and Elladan's wide eyed look of shock.

"I guess the meaning carries over the languages for that one, hmm?" I laughed even harder as Elrohir finally managed to stop choking and lost all control, tears actually squeezing out the corners of his eyes. He nodded as he curled sideways a bit. I was now simply laughing at his reaction. I hadn't seen anyone bust up so hard since coming here and I couldn't help but giggle at him.

Elladan chuckled to as we watched his brother finally give up and roll-sink-melt to the floor, resting his head on his arms on the bench as he continued to hiccup helplessly.

Elrohir dragged himself up and crawled on his knees to grasp his twin's. "If you had seen your face!" He collapsed into helpless giggles again, forehead on Elladan's knees.

Elladan gave me a serious look while he gently patted his brother's head. "Poor thing was dropped as an infant." Elrohir snorted and weakly slapped at his twin.

"He really was," a voice interrupted. My eyes shot to the door where Glorfindel entered.

"And t'was you who did the dropping!" Elrohir was still laughing as he snatched up and threw a plum at the seneschal.

Glorfindel caught it easily and bit it, chewing and pacing towards us almost thoughtfully. "You were a squirmy thing and I with hardly any experience dealing with children. How was I to know you'd suddenly arch back and dive from my arms?"

I giggled and Elladan grinned at me. "Aye, funny but true. Father says Mama wouldn't let Glorfindel near us for months after that." He turned up to the golden warrior. "Does duty call us already?"

"Nay. I came looking for my student."

I sobered at that. I really didn't want to train today. Glorfindel chuckled and held out a cloth wrapped… something… from where he'd kept it behind his back and in my distraction, hadn't noticed it. He set down the half eaten plum and pulled back the cloth. In it lay a gorgeously tooled leather scabbard with its mated sword. I stared and another deep chuckle sounded. "Did you think I'd spend all that time training you and not give you a proper sword?"

Slowly, I stood and ran my fingers over the leather. "It's too fine to take in the wilds. It'll get ruined."

"Good leather to protect a good sword," Glorfindel said. He changed his hold and teasingly dropped the cloth over Elrohir's head. "Here." He pulled the sword from the sheath and turned the pommel end towards me. I took it carefully, able to _see_ just how sharp the edges were. "Go on. Swing it about. Get a feel for it."

I grinned and walked to the center of the room. I was in a dress, but could still manage some moves without falling… I think. I smirked and decided to show off a bit. I started with some simple swings and danced around a little, flowed to a bit of belly dancing with the sword as my prop, and then spun around a little… as much as my floor length skirt would allow… with my Tae Kwon Do kata.

The sword was perfectly balanced and felt like it belonged in my hand. It had weight to it, but wasn't as heavy as our blunted practice swords, and I'll be damned but I swear I could here a slight ringing as it cut through the air. I finished up by slipping into a holding pose Glorfindel had taught me.

"I like it," I grinned as I dropped out of the stance and swung it in a few more lazy swipes. "No, I love it." Walking back over, I slid the sword carefully back into the scabbard as Glorfindel held it and then reached up and kissed his cheek and hugged him. "Thank you. For everything."

"You are welcome, Gabrielle. May it keep you in your journeys." Formal words, as he caught my chin in a gentle hold, as was the blessing kiss he gave my lips. I rolled my eyes as I heard the twins giggle behind me.

"Promise to beat them often for me while I'm gone?"

The seneschal snickered. "I have only ever awaited permission to do so." Glorfindel picked his plum back up and headed for the door. "Don't let them keep you over long, Gabby. T'is nearly time to begin readying for the feast."

I waited till Glorfindel was gone, set my sword aside carefully, and then let myself fall in a mock faint into Elrohir's lap. Wrist draped across my forehead, I sighed dreamily. "Did you see…? He _kissed_ me!"

Fingers digging into my ribs made me lurch out of my flopped position and I laughed as I slapped Elrohir's hands.

"He's right though." Elladan stood and reached down to help me up. "It is time to get ready."

"Yay! One more night of looking like a girl and back to pants I go!"

"Dresses can't be that bad," Elladan smiled.

"You wear one," I shot back with a laugh.

Of course I really wasn't complaining. I'd gotten the best of both worlds when ya think about it. I got to doll up in pretty dresses and have my hair beyond perfect and have men greet me all 'Milady' and such. AND I got to have the tar beat out of me as I learned to sword fight.

Oh… and there really was the side benefit of getting to show Glorfindel the bit of Brazilian Jujitsu I knew. Nothing like wrestling and rolling around on the ground with a hottie to get ye olde blood pumpin'. Not that I'd tell the twins. No…. no no no… The teasing would be never ending and I'm realistic enough to know when someone's not attracted to me. Nothing ever did or would have happened with Glorfindel. Which is fine. I seriously doubt the reality could live up to the fantasy at this point. Heheheh.

So I sat in front of the mirror, watching Andriel do my hair up fancy for the last time. And I do mean fancy this time. The little combs and clips and ties we're all decorated with tiny sparkling jewels that really… and I mean REALLY… made my hair shine. My dress tonight was red again, but with quite a lot more detail and trim than before and the shoes I was given had a bit of a heel on them. Just a couple inches, and they were dainty things, but heels nonetheless.

It was pretty obvious that this feast was a BIG DEAL and I'd better act as good as I looked. When Andriel was done I hurried to the bottom of the armoire and fished out my purse. I'm not huge on make up, and haven't worn any since the day I arrived, but I did have some mascara, liner and a small, neutral colored pack of eye shadow.

Andriel watched me curiously as she pinned up her own hair. Less decorated than mine, but even more gorgeous with the candle light reflecting off the gold tones of her hair. I hadn't seen anyone wear make up so I went really easy, easier than I normally do for the natural look I prefer, and just gave myself a touch of color. Heck black mascara alone makes my eyes pop. I didn't even bother with the liner.

A knock sounded just as I finished putting the bag away and Andriel bustled over to open it before I could even stand back up. Elladan and Elrohir stepped in as the maid moved out of their way. One was in brilliant cobalt blue, the other in silvery gray and emerald green.

"Wait!" I said, hand coming up. "I'm going to guess."

Identical smirks appeared on their faces.

"Excuse me, my lady." I looked to Andriel where she stood by the door. "If you need nothing further I will go."

"I'm good. Thank you. And have fun later!" I let the door close and then looked at the twins. Mirror twins. They stood still, expressions controlled if still smirking at me. Their hair was even the same, like mine a bit more ornately decorated than usual, but I couldn't tell just by looking at them. "Well I know Elrohir favors blue." They didn't budge. Then I grinned. Oh I knew how to tell them apart. I stepped close to the one in gray and green and fiddled with the ends of his hair, totally invading his personal space.

No discernable difference in expression or breathing.

That's fine since I really didn't expect one. Elrohir really was more the type to go for jewel tone colors.

The jig was up, if it'd ever been down in the first place, as I stepped in close to Elrohir. Now he knew that I knew that he was interested in me. That I'd noticed. And for the game, or the sake of his male pride or something, he made a valiant effort to not react when I stepped close and totally brazenly leaned into him, going up on my tippy toes to get my face closer to his as I stared into his eyes.

And by leaning into, I mean breasts that filled out that pretty Elvish gown with cleavage that showed from the low V neckline pushed into his upper arm and side of his chest. And by going up on my tippy toes I mean d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g those well displayed bosoms up his upper arm and the side of his chest.

His smirk dropped right off his face and his breath hitched, silver eyes dilating and flickering down before coming back up to lock with mine.

Oh that response, not to mention the actions I took to get it, had an effect on me too, but I was able to mask it cuz GOD _DAMNIT_, did it feel good to make him react.

"Hey, Elladan," I said over my shoulder, pulling away a bit. I swear Elrohir's hands twitched like he was gonna grab me back. "You sure your brother's feeling alright? He's all flush and panting."

"I am not panting."

Elladan snickered and settled my right hand at the crook of his elbow. "Shall we be on our way, Milady?"

I smiled at Elladan and then snatched Elrohir's arm too. "Yes." I grinned up at Elrohir. "You aren't going to pout all night are you?"

"No," he sulked. "Only part of it."

I was almost worried for all of two seconds.

"Then I will make you sing about Santa and that shall cheer me again."

"I am not singing that song or any other. Forget it."

"He isn't going to stop," Elladan warned.

"And I'm not going to sing. Impasse."

"Oh good word usage," Elrohir smiled and then leaned down. His voice did that register drop thing and I tried to force my body to not break out in goosebumps. And failed. "I will have my revenge, however."

"Shaking in my shoes here."

"You probably should be," Elladan said and my head spun around so fast I thought it might go flying off. Since when did he take his brother's side when we were flirting and playing? He pried my fingers loose a bit from his arm and smirked at me. Crap. I'd gripped him fighting the reaction Elrohir… inspired… "Just try to make your exit tonight somewhat discrete," he said looking at his twin. "You know how father hates the others gossiping about us and there is already enough going around."

I actually stumbled. "What?!!" I'm not sure what was more shocking. I stopped walking, letting go of their arms. "Exit? Gossip? _What?!_" Was he suggesting I sneak off with Elrohir? Was he suggesting others already thought that was going on?

I think my brain locked up. I mean ok… The utterly impossible has occurred and Elrohir is attracted to me. Whoohoo Mary Sue magick! But that doesn't mean we'd act on it! Geez the sexual tension was being fully enjoyed by me because it had no hope of going anywhere. Sorta like admiring Glorfindel… Ooo… shiny. Elrohir made me go ooo shiny and ooo tingly too, but until last night I hadn't thought the interest would be returned. And even so… That doesn't mean that simple attraction would be worth _doing_ anything about it. That he'd even _want_ to. Hell, I wasn't sure _I_ wanted to. I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all or mess up the whole friend thing we had going. I didn't want it to awkward when we met back up down the road.

And then what's this about gossip?!

Elrohir was glaring daggers at his brother. "Nicely done, brother."

Elladan waved it off and reached back to tug me up even with them again. "I'm tired of watching you two dance around one another and I don't want to have to put up with your moping when she leaves tomorrow. Everyone knows but you two only _just_ figured it out. Valar! Just don't leave together tonight and no one will suspect any more than they already do." He began walking again, practically hauling me along.

"Suspect what?!" I demanded in a hiss and struggled until I worked my arm back into the proper… formal… place.

Geez. Frog march me into the damn hall!

"That you'll spend the night together," Elladan said matter of factly.

I just stared in stunned silence. What the hump to say to that? I glanced at Elrohir and, whether it was a good or bad thing I didn't know, he looked just as off balance as I felt.

I picked my head up, squared my shoulders, and affixed a neutral expression to my face. Damned if I was going to let anyone else see me shaken. A quick glance at my friends showed Elrohir with his own mask in place and Elladan smiling faintly in mischief.

He's so lucky I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll probably forget about revenge before we meet again outside of Rohan.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Because a reader reminded me this fic existed. Thanks gunitatsuhiko! Y'all have some insane crack! *hugz!* -LD

**Chapter 11**

By the time we reached the table I'd decided how I was going to handle this gossip thing.

And my revenge on Elladan.

Dinner was fancy in a way that intimidated the hell out of me, but I muddled through without embarrassing myself. I think. I was warned quietly of the potency of the Elvish wine and remembering all too many fan fics where the characters got _waaay_ drunker than they'd intended, I took it real slow. Had a goblet of water with the meal too rather than just drink wine like so many others were.

The Hall of Fire was pretty freaking amazing. In an entire city of ornate, beautiful architecture and décor, this… ballroom for lack of a better term… was the crown jewel. The acoustics… wow. And of course The Fire. I could wax all sorts of poetic about it, but really that couldn't do it justice. Suffice it with, Elves sang, including my twins. Stories were told, toasts made and yes… even I took my turn and recited 'T'was the Night Before Christmas'. I screwed up a few bits but really it didn't rhyme anyways in Westron like it does in English so they'll never know the difference.

And as the night progressed with dancing, drinking, singing, and all that, I sipped at that ONE glass of wine. Good stuff. Really good stuff. But it LOOKED like I always had a drink in my hand so how would anyone know I wasn't as drunk as I pretended to be?

Muahahah!

I tossed back the last of my wine and flung myself right down on Elladan's lap, demanding in a slightly louder voice than necessary, "Take me to bed. Both of you," I added, tipping my head back to look at the blue clad twin upside down.

Elrohir gave me a sexy grin and stood.

Elladan looked like he wanted to drop me on my ass or laugh his off. Choosing option three he excused himself from the conversation I'd plopped myself into the middle of and stood up, lifting me like I weighed nothing.

Impressive.

"Sly little minx. Do you have any idea what Father is going to do when this reaches him?" Elladan asked.

"Ah but you'll be there with me and Elrohir all night. What can possibly happen if all three of us are together?"

Elladan gave me a mild glare and swung me down onto my own feet once we were in the hall. "I am not staying in your room all night watching the two of you make moon eyes at each other while pretending you don't-"

"I want you both!" I interrupted heatedly. "I want you both with me, as my _friends_ on my last night in safety. Gods, Ell! I _KNOW_ what I'm going up against when I walk out of Imladris with the Fellowship. As fun as sex would be, I'd much rather just have you both close and keeping _me_ safe for this last night. I don't care what anyone else, including your father, thinks about that!"

Elrohir pulled me close to his side as Elladan stared at me in surprise. "Of course we'll stay with you, Little Traveler," Elrohir murmured. "Won't we, brother?"

Elladan grinned, his mischievous side poking through. "Imagine the look on the face of the one sent to fetch you tomorrow!" Both twins snickered. "Are we sleeping clothed?"

"Yes we better, but not this!" I declared. "In fact…" I held on to Elrohir's arm, hopping a little as I tugged one shoe and then the other off. "Damn heels are bitch no matter where in the universe you are."

The brothers dropped me off at my door to go gather more comfortable sleep clothes for themselves as none of us thought nudity was a good idea that night, and I got stripped and into my night gown. I was just starting to tug at the pins and combs in my hair when Elrohir got back.

"Before Elladan arrives…" he started, then wrapped his arms around my back and suddenly those lips I'd wanted to suck on so very much a couple months ago were right there all over mine. I stiffened in surprise for a whole half second then wound myself into him as best as I could with the way he was arching me back, digging my hands into his hair to hold him right _there_. I did indeed suck on that perfect bottom lip, but then coherent thought sorta fled as he thrust his tongue into my mouth and really… nothing else mattered.

I had the brief thought of, Oh Gods… Is he gonna take me here and now? Like this? Fast, desperate?

And oooohhh… I'd have let him. That kiss was dominating hot and so very, very full of need. In that moment he could have asked, begged, ordered _anything_ of me and gotten it.

Then he was pulling away, one last hard press of closed lips on mine. He leaned against me, forehead to forehead, while we tried to catch our breath.

I smirked, then it became a full blown grin and giggle. Silver eyes opened to stare at me in confusion. "Not quite the reaction I was expecting. Nor one any man appreciates."

"Oh shut up," I laughed, and stumbled away to plop weakly on the edge of the bed. "That was amazing." That got a smile out of him. All satisfied male pride too. "What I was laughing at was that circumstance. We're like teenagers stealing a kiss before their parents manage to find them."

Elrohir chuckled but it faded as he moved to sit with me and hesitated. "I may not sleep much tonight."

"Elladan _is_ returning, right? I was serious. I want both of you with me tonight. You're my first friends here. My best friends."

"He-" The bedroom door opened and Elladan slipped in, quietly closing it behind him. "Is here even now," Elrohir finished after a slight pause.

Elladan raised a brow and looked back and forth between me and his twin. "I can go." Elrohir shook his head even as I opened my mouth to say no. Elladan gave us doubtful looks but moved to the bed and began pulling the pins out of my hair for me.

Elrohir deemed it safe enough then to come within arms reach and sat, undoing the ties and taking his own braids and ornaments out. Elladan's was already down and brushed out. I heard a snicker from behind me and Elrohir cast a glare over my shoulder at his brother.

"Don't bother with growling, Elrohir. It's only too obvious I'd have interrupted… something… had I arrived only a moment or two earlier."

"It was a damn fine kiss," I said twisting my head around to give Elladan a naughty grin. "Damn fine. Which I'm sure will go straight to his head, but I'm not the lying type." I turned back around to catch Elrohir's proud smirk and continued. "Of course I left him panting too, so I'd call it even."

Elladan laughed outright as Elrohir's smirk dropped away. "Shall we try again and see who leaves who panting?"

"Do and I leave," Elladan laughed. "I can go warm another bed and have something out of it for myself if that's the way of it."

I bit my tongue on the suggestion of involving Elladan too. I… and yes this is insane… didn't really want him that way. Oh I don't think I'd REALLY say no if things weren't so dire and they were up for it, but Elladan seemed to be ready to bolt and I REALLY did want him close too.

Hair free and brushed, I crawled to the middle of the bed while Elrohir put away the brush and blew out the oil lamps. In very short order I found myself snuggled between two warm bodies. Elladan curled against my back, arm around my waist. Elrohir lay facing me, one hand clasping mine, the other tracing light patterns on my cheeks. He leaned his forehead against mine again and whispered, "Sleep sweetly, Gabrielle."

I blinked. He rarely… no never… called me by my full name. Elladan would, but not Elrohir. "Good night," I whispered back.

Then Elladan bit my neck. I squeaked and jumped as he laughed.

"Bit you, did he?" Elrohir asked in a tone that said he already knew and was amused. Nipped is more like it, but it was a sharp little bite all the same and right at the nape. I was busy trying to twist around to… well counterattack somehow, but it wasn't working. Elrohir was soon giggling. "That's actually a good sign, Gabby. He only torments those he loves. Why do you think he hits me so often?"

Elladan and I stopped our wrestling to stare… blindly in my case… at Elrohir. "Because you need it," Elladan said. I was then rearranged in his arms and cuddled back to his chest again. "I long ago realized you needed a heavier hand to keep you in line."

There was an affronted sound then Elrohir had his face close to mine again, voice dropped down to that low purr of a tone. "You like me as I am, don't you, Gabby?"

"Yup! Need for beatings and all," I chirped out, fighting the zing that rushed heat right back down to the pit of my stomach. Geez, I was still aroused from that kiss. The last thing I needed was _that_ voice and the fuel it provided to imagine how it might sound in my ear as he…

There were a few beats of silence as my brain spun. Then. "Oh for that I shan't kiss you good night."

"Good," Elladan muttered, breath tickling my neck and making me tense. "Oh…" he purposely breathed heavily over my skin again. "Does that tickle?"

"Tickling me now is a bad idea."

"Is it?" I could hear the smile in Elladan's voice and he was still purposely exhaling harder.

"What's it do to you to have a sexy woman squirming around against you?"

"Conceited? Not our Gabby!" Elrohir laughed.

I snorted… that wasn't what I meant… then twisted enough to put my mouth by Elladan's ear and breathed the words, "He kissed me. You really want me writhing around _now_?"

There was a quick peck of a kiss to my cheek and Elladan gave me a chipper, "Sleep well," and settled us back into position.

"What did you say?" Elrohir asked.

I blinked in the dark, staring where I thought his eyes were. "You couldn't hear?"

"No."

I smirked. "That was the point. Good night!" He left it alone, surprise there, and we all snuggled in.

Before I knew it, daylight was streaming through my balcony doors and there was an amused smile staring at me from the main door.

"Good morrow," Glorfindel greeted, smile growing as he slipped into the room and closed the door with one last peek into the hall. Elrohir jumped at the seneschal's voice and looked back over his shoulder. "I wonder… What would the servants make of this sight?" He paused pacing a little closer, gaze shifting from one twin to the other. "Better still. What would your father think?" The sly grin never left his face.

Plastering on a coy smile, I leaned up on an elbow and reached across Elrohir, flipping the blankets back in invitation. "Oh let's _really_ give them something gossip about."

Lemme just say that I really do love Glorfindel's laugh. Hearty and loud, he holds nothing back when he thinks something's honestly funny. It didn't seem like a very Elf-like laugh. I love it. The twins were chuckling too.

"Tempting as that offer is, I must decline. I'm far too old to keep up with three over energetic whelps." Glorfindel looked over me to Elladan. "Duty calls Sons of Elrond. Your father wants to see you in the library." I felt as both the twins stiffened and saw the look on Elrohir's face before he could mask it with a blank expression. Glorfindel just chuckled a little as he turned to leave. "He doesn't know yet. Go before he finds out."

"It really was innocent," Elrohir said.

Glorfindel halted mid step and turned, eying all three of us before breaking into another grin. "Of course it was. Elladan's here." Then he was gone.

"I… Was that an insult?" Elladan asked.

"And if it was," Elrohir added. "Which of the two of us was it directed at?"

I just laughed.

Elladan had kissed my cheek on his way from the bed, calling Elrohir with him with a quiet, "Come, brother. T'is never a good idea to keep Father waiting."

They left and I was stuck alone to drag my reluctant butt out of bed and get cleaned up and dressed. Andriel arrived late enough that all I needed help with was my hair. Elrond's dinner… more like late luncheon… was not going to be fancy but I was still stuck in a dress.

The lunch was… difficult. Everyone was tense and what conversation there was, was short, stilted, and low enough that only the participants really heard it. Which means Gandalf, Elrond, and occasionally Aragorn. The twins said nothing to me or anyone else and I worried that they really had gotten in trouble about last night until Glorfindel caught my eye and gave me a slight smile, looking pointedly in the direction of Elrohir's plate. He'd barely eaten anything and was now only pushing the food around his plate.

I picked up my napkin… fancy cloth thing I'd had resting in my lap… made a subtle show of dabbing my mouth and then smoothed it back over my thighs, making sure to touch Elrohir's leg gently while I was at it and going back to my meal one handed. His fork stilled and entire body stiffened for a second as I let my fingertips rest on the outside seam of his pants. Glorfindel smirked and suddenly found his plate fascinating. Elrohir's leg moved out, pressing into my touch for only a moment.

I'd never been so glad to get away from a table in my life. This was beginning to hurt just a bit too much.

The twins didn't follow me to my room, but Andriel met me in the hall, letting me know my last bath was ready and she had a few necessary items for my personal pack since I was going to be on the road longer than a month if you're catching my drift here…

Time was doing a leap and jump herky jerky thing on me and suddenly I was bathed, dressed, hair braided tightly in a French-but-not-French-cuz-it's-Middle Earth braid, and geared up. And by geared up I mean fully armed and armored. Glorfindel had seen to my armor design personally, the light weight leather not much for protection, and looking more like clothing than armor, but something is better than nothing. And really, with my fighting style of dart and strike, I needed to be more agile than I needed to be metal plated and 'protected'.

I stared into the mirror after Andriel had left, her big blue eyes looking like she wanted to cry as much as I did. We both managed to part without the waterworks and I was determined to do just that. Tears might not be shameful, but I was going out with nine men who were taking me because I might be useful. Not so I could be girly and weepy.

Walking to the courtyard my brain was stuck on a loop of 'tough warrior chick… I'm a tough warrior chick… so gonna kick evil's ass… yeah…' So when a nearby door opened and a hand shot out, snatching me into the unknown room, I squeaked a very un-warrior-like yelp, belatedly remembering to twist out of the grasping hand.

It was Elrohir. "Elladan will be here in a moment," he said, pulling me close into a hug. "Keep your hair braided so it doesn't impair your vision in combat. Legolas can help you if you can't do it yourself. Sleep with your boots on. They'll help keep you warm and if you're attacked while abed, you at least won't have to worry about stumbling over rough ground in bare feet." He paused, hands stroking over my back and I simply clung to the front of his jerkin, face pressed to his chest. "I know you're a woman, but the trail is no place for female modesty. Stay close to the others. Keep them in your sight and be sure to remain in theirs as much as possible."

I'm honestly not a crier… really… and I fought it here with every ounce of will I had, but his voice was so soft and sad. I inhaled and exhaled, suddenly terrified of what I was walking out into. I wanted to stay right here so damn bad! But then… I still wanted to go home too. Whatever this was between me and Elrohir, it wasn't enough to keep me in this world. I couldn't let it. So I redid that whole five second thing as my dear friend continued to whisper instructions.

When I was calm again, I leaned back a little, smoothed the wrinkles my grip had made in Elrohir's clothes and slid my hands up to his shoulders, slipping one behind his neck. Instead of hot and desperate this kiss was slow and deep… bittersweet. My hands worked their way into that mass of raven hair to clutch it tight as Elrohir's arms banded around my back, one of his hands wrapping my braid around his fist.

I heard the door open but since Elrohir didn't even tense, I figured it was Elladan and didn't break the kiss just yet. When we pulled apart, I turned to glance back at the other brother.

"We have a gift for you," Elladan said softly. From behind his back he brought forth two wickedly sharp looking knives and their scabbards. "Undo your belt."

I smirked. "Isn't that his line?" I asked hiking my thumb over my shoulder at Elrohir. Elladan grinned.

Elrohir leaned down and set his mouth right next to my ear. "Undo your belt," he purred and fire _crashed_ through my body. It was Elladan's laugh that had me opening my eyes… and I never even knew I'd closed them.

"You two realize there is a little time. I'll guard the door."

Oh sweet Lady, that was tempting and I was opening my mouth to say 'yes please', when Elrohir literally snarled out, "I'll not tumble her like some tavern doxy in the linen room!"

I looked back around at Elrohir, while unbuckling my belt. "Who says _you_ would be tumbling _me_?"

"I do," he answered just as shortly. I raised an eyebrow, but left it alone. Well then… we'll just have to wait and see if whatever this is, is still there when we meet up again because I knew we didn't have time for anything but a quickie.

Elladan stepped closer to me and helped me slide the scabbards onto the belt and get it arranged comfortably. I caught the teasing light in his eyes, but his tone was completely serious as he knelt and wound the leather thong at the bottom around my upper thigh. "Well, my friend… Should you find yourself in a position to tumble anyone, be certain he tumbles you right back and well." I think I heard a low growl from behind me. Elladan looked up from tying the second cord and was serious for real this time. "One must take pleasure where one may, for who knows what tomorrow truly brings."

I get what he was saying, but it still felt a bit like a punch in the gut. He must've realized it too because he looked instantly contrite. And as I stood in stunned silence processing that, Elladan reached over my shoulder. I missed whatever passed between him and Elrohir and really… they communicated silently all the damn time. I'm not sure if it's telepathy per say or just something that comes from three millennia of being twins, but they did it flawlessly and constantly.

Either way, Elladan was then tilting my chin up to look in his eyes. "Never go anywhere… _anywhere_… unarmed. Promise me that." I nodded. "With these two, how many knives have you? They won't be as finely crafted but I know I can gather you a few more rather easily."

I smiled at that. "Counting these two, which are beautiful, thank you both very much," I glanced back at Elrohir and saw he wore a smirk too. "Eight. Nine if you want to count the sword. And I do since nine is a good number."

Elladan's eyes widened comically. "Nine?" His eyes ran over my body and I could see him counting mentally. The sword, the two he just gave me, the two they knew about hidden in my boots, and the one Aragorn had found for me that was strapped to my right calf. "Where are the other three?"

"Other two," Elrohir corrected, turning me so his brother could see the little blade held to the small of my back under the leather tunic. Of course he had found that one.

They both stared at me as I grinned. "Now boys, a girl has got to have a few secrets."

"Where?" they demanded together and I giggled at the stereo affect.

I shoved my left sleeve up to show the leather bracer on my wrist and the petite, flat bladed and hilted knife it held. Then I repeated the action for my right arm.

"Glorfindel," they said together, smiling, and I nodded, laughing again.

There was the sound of heavy feet going by out in the hall and we all went silent. "They gather," Elladan said.

I stepped up to him wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. Elrohir pressed against my back and they surrounded me for a few silent moments. "Take care of one another," I leaned back and pressed a light kiss to Elladan's mouth, then twisted my head around, giving Elrohir a more lingering one. He pressed his forehead to mine, eyes closed, breath seemingly held, "until we meet again," I whispered and pulled away from them.

"Will we?" Elrohir asked suddenly as my hand reached for the door. I looked back at him and just stared into his eyes.

I couldn't answer. I wanted to reassure him… but I couldn't. I was a walking paradox and… well you know how it goes. What will I do that screws this pooch and makes Sauron the winner instead? I turned away, leaving the room and knowing both twins followed me. I forced a smile to my face and looked up at Elrohir. "If we do… will you kiss me again like last night?" I whispered.

He mustered his own smarmy grin and replied in …GODS!... _that _voice, "_Any_where and _every_where including your…" he paused and let his gaze drop below my belt before coming back up, "lips."

I tripped over my own feet and only Elladan grabbing me by the arm stopped me from falling flat on my face. "I'm good," I rushed to say, fighting for my balance, "all good. I'm good." I looked up at Elrohir, gave him a thorough once over and smiled. "We are _so_ going to see each other again! Hell or high water, baby, we are definitely seeing each other again."

"And I shall immediately make myself very scarce," Elladan laughed, tugging me by the arm back into motion. We stopped at an archway. "Your Fellowship awaits. Be safe, Little Traveler."

I took a deep breath; composing myself and locking down all the fear and hurt and plain angst I was feeling. Face a mask I walked away from them without looking back, knowing they wouldn't be following me out. Oh they'd be there in the courtyard but there was protocol for this apparently and they could or would not accompany me. I kept my eyes locked on the small gathering. Bill the pony stood with Merry and Pippin. Boromir stood watching as Elrond spoke quietly but intensely with Gandalf at the bottom of the main stairs. Gimli was there but off to the side speaking with a few other Dwarfs. I made my way towards Legolas. He was alone and gazing serenely off into the distance.

The Elf prince turned as I approached and smiled. "Greetings, Gabrielle! You are learning. I could hear your tread, but I believe and Orc would be hard pressed too."

I smiled back and shrugged. "Too many willowy, graceful Elves around here. I feel clumsy and loud almost all the time.

I caught him casting a distasteful look towards the Dwarfs and raised a brow in reproach. I knew that eventually he and Gimli would become the best of friends, but right now… oh no… they were a long ways from that yet. Legolas shifted his eyes back to me and said, "You are not as bad as you think."

I tipped my chin down, narrowing my eyes. He knew I liked Gimli and refused to tolerate any snide remarks from either of them about the other or their races. But unfortunately, that didn't stop them, only curbed them a bit while in my presence.

"Our Bearer comes," Legolas said. I maintained the glare a moment longer then turned to watch as Frodo and Sam walked down the stairs, going slow so that Bilbo could walk with them to the bottom. From the corner of my eye I could see where the twins stood with a few others, namely Glorfindel and Erestor, un-namely others I didn't know but had seen in Elrond's company. Aragorn was coming down the stairs now too and I saw Arwen insinuate herself between her older brothers.

I looked more fully and saw her staring at me. I held her gaze and… wow… She had blue eyes, but there was no denying whose daughter or sister she was. I'd never seen the three siblings so close together before, and now that I did… There was quite the family resemblance.

I smiled slightly, dipped my chin in just the slightest nod and turned my head to look directly at where Aragorn was now immersing himself in checking the packs. I looked back at Arwen, straightening my stance and holding my head up a bit, left hand going to the long knife at my hip. She nodded too, blinking rapidly and accepting my promise to look after her fiancé. I caught movement and looked over at Glorfindel, ignoring as Gandalf and Elrond stepped closer. He smirked, bumping his shoulder into Elrohir's and startling the dark haired Elf a bit.

"When we leave," Legolas said in a very quiet, serious voice, "do not look back."

My eyes went instantly to Elrohir's at that. He held the gaze for a moment then very deliberately looked at his father. I turned my attention to Elrond too though I couldn't seem to understand the words. Then Frodo was walking, Gandalf just behind him. I followed Legolas and resisted turning to get one last look at my friends.

"It is considered bad luck," the prince murmured once we were around the bend and it was too late for me to see.

I didn't respond but I did keep pace with Legolas for as long as I could. We walked well past dark, hearing Gandalf tell Pippin when he asked about supper that we would go until we _had_ to rest the horses. I ended up bringing up the rear with Gimli by the time we did stop and though I'd done hardly anything other than exercise and build up my endurance for the last two months, I was utterly exhausted and barely managed to chew the jerky I was given and wash it down with a little water. I knew I'd need more that that, but it wasn't going to happen tonight.

Heart sore is a way I've never been before, I rolled up in my blanket, boots on, armed to the teeth, sword cuddled to my chest, and passed out.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

For as much as I hate mornings, I do tend to be an early riser when camping. I don't know how much this counted as 'camping', but here I was, awake and it was only predawn.

The Men and Legolas were already awake and moving around. We'd had no fire last night and as I sat up, rubbing my face and shivering as the warm cocoon of my blanket fell away, Aragorn proved there wouldn't be one this morning either. I caught the apple he tossed me with a startlingly loud _whap_ sound. Gandalf sat up like a shot and glared in my direction.

"What?" I asked and bit into the fruit. The crunch was loud in and of itself and when Legolas snickered I couldn't hold back my own grin anymore. Boromir muttered something under his breath that I missed and didn't particularly care about, but the Elf stiffened and stopped laughing instantly. I shrugged it off as just more Boromir bitching and stood as I finished the apple.

Aragorn glanced over from where he and Boromir were strapping our supplies back onto the horses. "Give the core to Bill. He'll enjoy the treat." I nodded, making my way over to Bill and scratching his soft nose as he munched the last of my breakfast.

"Hey, Legs," I called with a grin and got a neat little glare.

"Do refrain from calling me that."

"Alright, Lego." I snickered and glanced around at the surrounding trees. "We safe?"

Legolas held the glare a moment longer then nodded. "Do not go far."

"That way," I said, pointing. "And only far enough to give me a little privacy." He nodded and I slipped off into the forest. Yes I know I was told to keep them in sight, but I trust Legolas' instincts and damn it I have a shy bladder! If it was changing clothes or something along those lines, then no big deal. Likely they'd all be more embarrassed than me. I know I put on weight in Imladris, but it was muscle mass and healthy weight and out here walking without three squares and snacks any time I wanted one, even that was going to thin out. But for potty time…

"You know," I said slowly as I came back, still adjusting my belt and weapons. "If ever there was an advantage to being a man, it's that you all can pee standing up and without your rear ends getting cold."

Well… Gimli laughed and Legolas smiled. The rest, and yes they were all awake now, either blushed, rolled their eyes (Gandalf), or muttered under their breath again. I half heard Boromir that time… Chauvinist pig.

We set out as soon as the guys had all seen to their needs, either wandering off to hide behind a tree or in poor Sam's case waiting until I was well ahead with Legolas in the lead, before handling his business. I'm not the only shy bladder. We pushed hard those first couple days, Gandalf wanting to put a good distance between us and Rivendell as fast as we could. At least we had fires at night and sometimes even for breakfast.

We had meat with us. Bacon, though it must have been preserved in some way my twenty-first century mind had never learned cuz it was fine, but there was no cooler or ice with us. And of course we had travel jerky. But a lot of the time Aragorn and Legolas would hunt along the route as we walked. Rabbit, pheasant, some small type of deer. Or maybe it was just young. I helped cook and clean up with Sam. No one else offered and it just didn't seem fair to leave it all for one little Hobbit. Merry and Pippin began to help too after a few more days, but not always.

Mostly after dinner the others all sat around smoking their pipeweed, that despite the jokes, was not really whacky weed. The Hobbits especially smoked. Actually, Boromir didn't smoke, but it didn't seem to bother him that the others did.

Legolas and I were another matter altogether, and sat as far from that as we could. And as such ended up as something of first guard shift.

He had a nice voice, not like any Elf wouldn't, but he'd sing quietly or speak in that soft tenor of his and I'd soon find myself leaning on his shoulder and half asleep. Whoever was next… Aragorn, Boromir, or Gandalf… would come over, I'd hear it but only through this veil until Legolas would move his shoulder a little, then I'd get up say 'good night' and curl up in my blanket by the fire.

On the sixth day out, I got to see a new side of Boromir. The side from the movie. He'd slowly been relaxing as we got settled into a routine, but this day, which just so happened to be New Year's Eve, he was actually loosening up a bit. Legolas and I were practicing. He's got long knives as well… like from the movie too, though nearly everything else seemed to be book 'verse thus far… and though they were longer than mine, he was teaching me the technique he used with his. I heard Merry say something, but really my focus was on Legolas, and the next thing I knew Boromir was up and instructing the two younger Hobbits in swordplay.

No they didn't stomp his foot or tackle him, but he did laugh once. Legolas nearly sliced my hand open as I froze, dropped my defense completely and stared dumbfounded at the blonde Man.

Turning back to Legolas, completely ignoring his admonishment, I leaned close and whispered, "But he laughed! I didn't know he could laugh!" A pale blonde brow arched up and then without any warning, the Elf launched back into attack. He was grinning though by the time our blades shrilled together.

Day eleven's midday stop sent me cursing fluently and colorfully for my bag. I'd really… _really_… hoped that like ballerinas and female weight lifters that my body fat had dropped low enough in percentage that I wouldn't actually have to worry about my period. I snarled out another handful of nasty words, getting nine sets of raised eyebrows and stunned silence as I crossed the spectrum of languages I knew.

Snatching up the pack I pointed back to the woods and snapped, "I'll be close. I'll be back."

I stormed off, fully enjoying my snit, regardless of how bad it probably was to behave this way.

I heard Pippin start to ask quietly, "What-" But he was cut off with a handful hisses.

I don't PMS badly or for very long thankfully, but I was surprised and bummed and irritated to get it. Andriel _had_ prepared me for this and so after getting things situated and washing up in a nearby stream, I grounded, centered, and then walked calmly back to the guys. Silence fell as I approached and I bit my lip to stop the grin, but it still broke through. The Hobbits looked frightened.

"Sorry. None of that was directed at any of you. Just… Had to get it out." I was smiling and trying not to laugh and suddenly lights went on in the Men's and Legolas' eyes. Gimli and Gandalf were snickering into their beards.

"But… But why were you so angry with your mother, nature, and an aunt?" Pippin asked all innocence and concern.

Boromir of all people snorted a laugh and stood. "Perhaps we should move on?"

"I still don't-"

"Don't worry Pippin," I said and ruffled his hair a bit. "I'm sorry I worried you. Everything's fine though."

"You're sure?" Merry asked.

"Quite."

They moved ahead and I was surprised to find Boromir at my side. "I would think you'd be pleased to receive such… news."

I frowned and let that compute for a minute. I blame the PMS people. "You're quite the fucking asshole, ya know that, Boromir?" I said calmly and quietly. I heard Legolas choke from his point position and Aragorn coughed as he passed.

"Bug," he gasped. "Swallowed a bug." Then he continued to 'cough'.

I gave Boromir one last haughty glare and joined Gimli for a few hours. "If ever there were _two_ benefits to being male, eh, lass?" the Dwarf chuckled at me.

I huffed a laugh and shook my head. "Two words, Gimli. Multiple. Orgasms."

"What's that?" Pippin asked from behind me. There was a chorus of sharp 'nothing!'s from Gandalf, Aragorn and even the other three Hobbits. I was blushing scarlet, could feel the heat covering my face, and decided to just clamp my mouth shut for the rest of the day. Merry distracted Pippin and after a few minutes of watching Gimli about to shake his armor apart from trying to laugh silently I sighed.

"Oh let it out before you hurt yourself!"

The Dwarf's deep laughter rolled through the forest.

888888888888888888888888888

"There's a stream, cold but clean, through those trees. It's not terribly deep but should be enough for you to immerse and wash in."

I looked up at Legolas and sighed in relief. "Thank you!" I grabbed my pack and hurried off.

Here's the thing… We stopped by water nearly every night and often even during the daytime rest stops. There were hundreds of little cricks and creeks and streams and brooks running down the mountain sides. Every other day I'd lay on my back next to one of them, stripped down to my half-corset-bra-thingy and wash my hair and everything else… as best I could. And in that 'everything', I'm including my clothes. I had two sets, so I'd wear the clean, wash the other and let it dry over night, then save it until my next bath day.

I don't much know how the guys felt about the HCBT laying next to the fire after meals to dry, but they never commented. I only had one of them, so it HAD to be dry by the next morning. Only Legolas bathed as often as I did, but they all did wash on their own schedules.

Hahaha! The things they never mention in stories or ficlets, right?

I hurried down a slight slope through the trees and found a rather nice little smooth stone beach edging right up to a quick running little stream. It didn't look too swift, not enough to carry me away as long as I kept my feet on the ground, and again… I trust Legolas. He wouldn't have told me I could get _in_ the water if it was in any way unsafe.

Yeah… we've come a nice long way in our friendship.

I stripped without even looking to be sure none of the guys were around. If they were they were getting an eye-full and that was just too bad… or good… whatever… for them. I laid my leathers aside, and strapping on the most worn of my knife scabbards to my thigh I rushed into the water, trying to get that initial shock over with.

Sweet Goddess it was cold! I gasped as that first jolt settled into a solid coating of ice. I panted a few breaths, gearing up my courage and then dunked myself all the way under. Ok… this had to be fast or I was going to go hypothermic. Damn it was cold!

I grabbed my clothes and my chunk of soap and scrubbed quickly, lathering up as much of myself and hair as I could reach before diving back under the water. I was starting to go numb on my lower half. Last thing to wash was the soft chamois-like thing Andriel had given me. It had worked. All day walking and moving and… yeah…

I wasn't supposed to toss them but was surprised to see it wash completely clean in the icy water. And thank all the Gods I had a few of those and didn't have to try and dry this one out fast in front of the fire. Geez! How old was Pippin again? How the heck was he THAT innocent? I know he's an adult!

I wrung my chamois out and laid it flat over a dry stone, deciding on one last dunk before getting out. I had my hands up wringing my hair out when I heard a soft scuff on the ground of the bank. My hand dropped to the knife on my thigh. Then my next inclination was to crouch down in the water and cover my chest, but I forced myself to remain standing despite the fact the water only came up to mid-thigh.

Boromir's gaze traveled up and down a few times and he frowned in what I thought might be confusion. "Are all the women of your lands so hairless? And what is that at your navel?"

I blinked. Wha…? Hairless… OH! "Not all women, no. I had it removed because I hate shaving."

"Your lower legs as well?"

I smirked and after balancing carefully lifted my left leg, simultaneously gaining a TINY bit of modesty back and showing my hairless calf. Man that was the best money I ever spend getting that laser hair removal. "And my navel's pierced," I told him, going back to wringing out the hair on my head.

His staring was a bit… a lot weird, but I'll be damned if I was going to show I was feeling awkward because of it. "You are an unusual woman, Gabrielle."

I stepped back a little, into deeper water, self conscious of him seeing the reason for this more elaborate bath. "_Here_," I said. Boromir seemed to consider a moment and then nodded, seating himself on a rock. I raised a brow at that. "If you're sticking around, make yourself useful and hand me that drying cloth." He did without argument then continued to stare at me, but this time at my face. "Alright, now turn your back and give an unusual woman a little privacy."

"You don't seem to mind."

I cast a glare and clutched the small cloth to my breasts. "I'm a great actress. Turn your back, I'm freezing!"

He did and I hurried out of the stream, drying quickly and rushing to get a dry chamois in place. I had my pants on, my back to him, and was trying to pull the stays for the corset tight. Why they gave me a back tying bit of underwear when I'm the only girl around, I just don't know.

Fingers knocked mine aside and Boromir asked, "Why would you pierce your navel?" He jerked the stays tight and had them tied off before I could answer. I turned and raised a brow at him. "Too tight?"

"No, it's fine thank you." I was frowning up at him utterly confused. I mean seriously… what gave here? "I wanted it pierced. I like it. I'd have more in other places if the look wouldn't interfere with the running of my business. Why are you being polite to me?"

Hah! Made him blink! He remained silent for a moment then took a few steps back as I grabbed up my dry shirt and continued dressing. I gave him a pointed look, wanting an answer.

"You've endured well thus far."

My turn to blink. Then I got mad. "Gods, you really are a jerk! There are nearly as many women serving my country's military as there are men. I bet you I could give you a fair run for your money in straight hand to hand combat. I OWN my own business and wow, surprise, I have the mental capacity to make it thrive! And before you open your mouth and I have to cram my fist in it… _No_ it is _not_ a whore house! Of course I've endured. I _know_ what's on the line here! And did you not see Glorfindel throw me around the tilt yard? Did you not see the bruises and cuts and scrapes? Did you hear me whining and complaining then?" He shook his head when I paused to let him answer. "Then _why_, Boromir! _Why_ would you expect me to go all weepy helpless maid on you out here when all we've done so far is walk?"

He opened his mouth and I cut across him. "And before… before you say _one word_ about me not being truly battle tested, you take a moment to _think_ about the fact that I've got a bit more on the line to loose than a man if those Goblins or Orcs attack us. As a man they'll just kill you more than like. What do you think they'd do to me? And do you think that with _that_ staring me in the face, I'm not going to fight 'til my dying breath? That I would hesitate and quail in maidenly fear at their ugly slobbering faces?" I sneered and jerked my boots on. "And don't you… _you of all of us_... dare to doubt _my_ resolve in helping Frodo destroy that thing!"

My movements were jerky and I was shaking in fury as I began tying on my weapons. That last line was probably too much, but I hoped he wouldn't interpret that entirely the way I meant it. This explosion, however, could hardly be laid in Aunt Flow's lap. No, this was months in coming. I was sick of his doubt and snide comments and treating me like I was less than him. Oh sure it hadn't been as bad since we got on the trail, but he still expected me to crumble at the least provocation.

I slung my sword scabbard so the blade lay across my back, hilt over my right shoulder and glared up at him.

And gee-golly, wasn't I just acting fine right now and proving what a bitchy woman I was?

Boromir stared at me silently for a moment, probably waiting to see if I'd cut him off again, when I didn't he spoke quietly. "I underestimated you, Lady." He bowed and turned away.

I stared, knowing my jaw was hanging unhinged. "That's it?" I snapped before I could stop myself. Damn it!

He turned back and actually grinned a little. "Mightn't a man run with his tail securely tucked?"

I huffed a short laugh and shook my head. "Apology accepted." I turned and dug into my bag to find my comb. Legolas would braid it for me, he could make it tighter than I could, but I liked to get the snarls out for myself. I turned to see if Boromir had left and had to look up to see anything but his chest he was so close. I did manage to quash the startled squeak I could feel in my throat.

Boromir took the comb from me and circled around behind me. "Here," he said lifting away the sword. "T'is in my way." Then he began to gently untangle my hair.

"A man that knows his way around corset stays and women's hair. Interesting."

"Are you baiting me after I humbled myself?"

"Me? Never." I stood still while he not only combed but then braided my hair.

"I did misjudge you, Gabrielle, and for that I apologize. I must not look at you as I do the women of my own people or even our neighbor countries. If nothing else seeing you unclothed today proves how very different you are. You may as well be Elf, Hobbit, or Dwarf you are so different from the females in the Race of Men."

I grinned and looked back enough for Boromir to see it. "Because I'm hairless?" I laughed.

He managed a half grin and pulled my unfinished braid to make me turn back around. I think maybe it was easier for him to speak without me looking at him. "That as well. But women are soft. The women I have known," he corrected and I'm pretty sure he meant 'know' in the biblical sense by the inflection he used. "Were it not for your breasts and lack of male parts, you would have the body of a small man."

I gasped and tried to turn. Boromir sidestepped, using his grip on my hair to avoid facing me. "That came out wrong!" he rushed to say. "I just mean that you are muscular, much more so than any woman I've ever seen nude. The Elvish dresses and even your clothing now hide the strength of your form."

"Uh huh. Nice save," I huffed, but he couldn't see my grin.

"T'is the truth, I swear." He was silent as the braid was finished and he tied it off. I turned and he seemed to hesitate, so I set about gathering my clothes and not looking at him. "You are still quite womanly."

I burst out laughing. It couldn't be helped. Not when big bad Boromir wore a kicked puppy expression and had such a pout in his voice. I put a real effort into quieting my laughter and smiled up at the frowning Man. "Shall we start from here then? We _are_ a fellowship after all and I really hate disliking people." And that was true stuff right there. I could also deal with him thinking of me as an entirely different race if it meant he'd treat me like a traveling companion and fellow warrior on this journey. I mean, think about it. I was a better fighter than any of the Hobbits, and he didn't treat them with distain. In fact he was frankly adorable with them.

Boromir nodded once, turning it into a slight head bow and backed away a few paces. "If I've your forgiveness then?"

"Yes. Sorry I sort of lost my temper, but I maintain you had it coming."

He smirked. "I did say you were womanly."

Was that a joke? And a risky one at that? I grinned my own little evil grin and cracked him on the ass and I flounced by. "Come along then friend, I smell dinner."

His expression was priceless.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Caradhras.

I stared up at the mountain peak… Or well… Where it'd be if the clouds weren't covering it and shivered. It was going to be so cold up there. And it was going to be so pointless too.

At least my period had been short. That would have sucked so bad to try and deal with up there.

Two days ago we'd gone through the crebain thing. Aragorn and Gandalf were intense and quiet when they spoke. Legolas pretended to not listen when he was awake, but I could tell he could hear them. There was tenseness to his posture and he was quieter too. Less soft singing. Less talking to me.

I knew what our troop leaders were discussing. We'd end up in Moria anyways and I knew that. Shit… We should just go. Avoid the danger of the wargs, dash through the mines, maybe Gandalf wouldn't have to fight the Balrog? My friends wouldn't have to mourn him for dead. It was tempting… So tempting to DO something…

Yeah right. Do something and mess it all up. Then what? There is no Gandalf the White strong enough to defeat Saruman? The Ents don't get involved in the war and the Uruk Hai win Helm's Deep?

Fuck!

"A daunting climb," Boromir said, stopping beside me and startling me out of my thoughts.

I fought to remember if he got his hands on the ring in the book or if that only occurred in the movie. "I just don't favor the cold much," I told him. I winced at the low rough tone of my voice.

I jumped and yelped as Boromir's large hand cracked hard on my right butt cheek. He was snickering as he started up the trail after Legolas and Gandalf. "The benefits of being a Man," he called over his shoulder and began whistling. He was either ignoring the lie or really hadn't picked up on it.

And my ass stung.

Resisting the urge to flip him off, stick out my tongue or something else equally childish and crude, I started up the trail. We were relatively safe until we came down. Then wargs…

"Did I ever tell you I lived in a desert before coming here?" I asked Gimli as we trudged on through the snow storm. "It rarely snows even in the coldest part of winter. I like it there," I babbled on, the Dwarf chuckling as I continued on my rant about the cold and how much I hated it. I wasn't _really_ whining. More like trying to find _something_ amusing in the horrid weather. "And look at this crap," I said bending and scooping the powdery snow into my hands. "Look at this. It's not even respectable snow. It's fluff. Cold as hell fluff. You can't pack this powder. You can form snowballs with it." I tried and other than my hands getting even colder nothing happened. "Tell me how we're supposed to enjoy the snow when it's not even the right _kind_ of snow for a good old fashioned snowball fight?"

But even that ended as we trudged on and the weather seemed to get worse and worse, the wind blowing so hard I half expected it to blow one of the Hobbits right over from where they were bent in half and forcing one hairy little foot in front of the other. And WHY didn't they have some type of shoes? I get the barefoot thing, really, but man… talk about frostbite.

The storm came and went as we stopped and started and then… The rocks.

"We cannot go further tonight!" Boromir shouted to be heard above the rumbling and howling winds. There was a debate of foul voices and whether it was the mountain or the 'enemy'… they wouldn't say Sauron so I didn't either… causing the blizzard. We gave up trying to move forward and I was plain grateful to huddle into the cliff wall and trying to warm up. Fire was debated and Gandalf finally had to use magic to do it. That… that was pretty cool, though he bitched about it.

And the wood ran out before the snow did.

I knew we were heading down come daylight and I tried to rest and shore up my strength. We were going to fight our way down this damn mountain, set up camp…

I was dreaming of fire but there was no heat from it. Instead of warmth the flames were cold and I was confused until Aragorn nudged me. "Sleep not here, Gabby. We won't be able to wake you."

I nodded and sighed, curling in on myself as best as I could.

Later, when we finally did start out I could have cheerfully choked Legolas for being so chipper and… plain unaffected. It was a sadistic and mean thought, but I couldn't wait until we got into Moria. He wouldn't be so happy there.

At least it'd be warm.

It was another grey depressing evening and Gandalf gathered us all around and the topic of Moria was brought up. Boromir argued for any other route that would lead to Gondor. Gandalf argued that all routes under the open sky are being watched. Legolas' quiet, "I do not wish to go to Moria," reminded me of my rather cruel thoughts earlier and I leaned my shoulder into his a bit more. It was being put to a vote, but Frodo suggested we sleep on it.

Then… "How the wind howls!" Frodo said.

In the following silence more howls rose and Aragorn jumped to his feet. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up to hear them all. The attack didn't come then but it had everyone tense and Moria was set as our goal. A twenty mile hike, according to Gandalf, which we'd begin in the morning.

We made a fire at the top of an open little hill ringed by boulders and rocks, the trees just a bit behind them. Strategic, yes… and something else as I tried to reach out for whatever energies there might be there. Gandalf looked at me sharply and so I pulled back and took to staring at the fire, sword out and across my lap, waiting for the attack.

The Warg Captain would fall first… Legolas got him when Gandalf challenged him to enter the ring of stones. Then it was dark and all the others ran off.

Now to wait.

The Hobbits had managed to fall asleep, the rest of us couldn't. I watched the moon, ignoring the looks the guys were casting me every now and then. The clouds were breaking up, it would be predawn soon… Frodo… Frodo would wake before the howls signaled the attack…

The Hobbit gasped from his sleep and I was on my feet, long knife drawn and sword ready. Wolf forms leapt over the rocks and I… I just moved. I kept my back to the Hobbits and Gandalf where they built up the fire. I could hear Legolas' bow _twanging_ so fast it sounded like a single note being played over and over as fast as the musician could manage. There were the occasional grunt or shout from one of the Men or Gimli, but those were hard to hear over the growls and snarls and barks of the wargs.

I _felt_ Gandalf's words more than heard them and was practically blinded in the white flare of light over our heads. I fought on instinct and feeling then myself, reaching out the same way I had before, just trusting that it'd work since magic was so much more _real_ here.

The idea that Obi Wan would be pleased actually made me giggle when I felt the resistance against my sword as it sunk into another of the wargs, my eyes still seeing spots from the flash.

I was still seeing little bursts of random color when the sounds of battle just… ceased.

"That was an eye-opener, and no mistake! Nearly singed the hair off my head!"

I looked to Sam and chuckled, blinking more as the acrid smoke stung my eyes.

"And our sister is blooded this night in defense of our Fellowship," Boromir said, his tone pleased and a smile on his face. "And laughed in the face of darkness."

I blinked. Shit he'd heard that? "Not that I wouldn't like to enjoy your approval, Boromir, but I was laughing at my own incongruous thoughts when our lives were on the line." I shrugged and dug through my pack so I could clean my weapons, the others all moving to do the same. "None of my mentors ever told me that despite complete concentration on the fight, that my mind would still kick… just random weird thoughts at me."

"The body takes over," Legolas said softly as he kept watch out into the silent darkness. "It leaves the mind free at times."

"What was the thought that made you laugh?" Pippin asked.

I shook my head. "It… I did something that kind of reminded me of a character in an epic tale. But it's too long for me to explain exactly. It just struck me as funny that such a thought would pop up _then_, while I was truly fighting for my life." I shook my head again and shrugged, glancing up at Pippin to see what he was thinking. He was worse than me with the whole emotions on the face thing.

Pippin watched me silently for a moment, gears turning in his little head. "Would you tell us the tale?" he finally asked.

"I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to translate much of it to this language. There are things in my… land that are not here. Things I don't know how to explain so that they could be understood."

More than just Pippin frowned at that and Gandalf was looking at me suspiciously. I sighed and remained silent, polishing my weapons carefully so that none of the blood or ickor would corrode the blades. After all… How the hell would I explain space travel to people who still use swords and ride horses?

I managed to get a little sleep and it was morning when Gandalf's worried voice woke me. We ate and hurried off, following Gimli and Gandalf toward the straight cliffs in the distance. It was a rough hike and I could practically feel the nervous energy running through the Fellowship. When we finally came upon the lake, Gandalf seemed pleased, but it was already getting late. We hustled on and I kept an eye on the water.

"The wizard is correct. The water seems foul," Legolas said. He'd barely spoken since the debate last night and I felt even guiltier for looking forward to him being miserable even though I really hadn't meant it… I was just grouchy… and cold… and bitchy... But he was young for an Elf. Oh sure a handful or so centuries, but still young and not really what you'd consider world wary. I knew that from our talks. He was the younger son, thrust into his position with the death of his elder brother during the Battle of the Five Armies and beyond some minor wandering he hadn't been many places beyond Mirkwood. He was brave and loyal and true… all that. Battle tested too since he practically grew up hunting and slaying giant spiders. Legolas really had that sense of invincibility so many nineteen or twenty year old men have.

But in the mines he was going to get his first true taste of terror.

I also knew he, mostly due to his Race, wasn't going to be comfortable in Moria. Elves were claustrophobic. They quite literally needed to be able to see the sky or at least have an unfettered path to it. Legolas wasn't really in any danger of fading or pining away while we were in the mines for a few days, but if we just stuck his butt in a cave and wouldn't let him out, he'd slowly go mad or die. And he had to know that. And he also had to know that the path through Moria would be dark and be worried about it being blocked…

I came to an abrupt halt and felt how my mouth twisted up in disgust as I looked down at the stream Gimli was crossing. "Anyone have a set of wings I can borrow?" Legolas snerked in amusement and we began picking our way gingerly across. He had better balance than me of course, but I managed to stay upright, despite slipping a few times, by sheer force of will. No WAY was I getting soaked in _this_ water!

It was a search for the gate. It really was. I helped for what little help I was since I'm not the one who found the door, and then it was all I could do to stop myself from walking up and saying 'mellon' nice and strong and getting us the hell away from this lake. Instead I paced and waited and bit my tongue. And when Boromir finally snarled in impatience and chucked a stone far out over the water, I sidled up near as I could to Legolas without raising suspicion. I couldn't reach for my sword without being obvious, so instead took up what I hoped looked like a bored pose and rested my hands on the hilts of my long knives.

"Hah!" Gandalf cried and stood up from the rock he'd been sitting on. I watched in fascination as he tapped the door said, "Mellon," in a clear tone and the doorway framed itself and opened.

I should have been watching the water instead of Gandalf as he entered the mines. It wasn't really as harrowing as I expected it to be, but the ground shook hard as the Watcher tore out the doors and caused a cave in.

And it was black. As in no light at all. I could hear the gasp of breath near to my right and reached out blindly. Legolas clutched my hand so tight I was sure there'd be bruises as he shifted to be closer. The ground shuddered again and then Gandalf was talking and all I could think as the Elf shivered against my side was, _Well, no shit the passage is blocked_. But I kept that little thought to myself and moved away when I realized the wizard was going to light his staff.

Legolas gave me a grateful look and we all followed Gandalf and Gimli up two hundred steps. I know there were two hundred because Merry and Pippin made a game of counting them. Not like it was an arduous climb or anything. More like… stately. Or it would have probably been back in Moria's hay day.

Events after that followed pretty boringly really. We ate, we took breaks, we walked. We did a whole lot more walking than the other two things. Our breaks were generally short and I almost always woke from my catnaps to find Legolas curled in front of me spoon style. I don't think he actually slept and I often found myself humming lullabies under my breath and petting his hair… if he wasn't clinging to my hand.

He had a good mask in place and besides Aragorn and Gandalf, I don't think any of the Fellowship had any clue how stressed the Elf was.

Our first real stop came at a three way fork, Merry and Pippin rushed into a side room and that's where the hole in the floor was.

Now comes trouble. The pebble Pippin dropped was startlingly _loud_ and even I wanted to smack him for it. Especially when we heard the signal drums. Gandalf gave Pippin the first watch but I knew that wouldn't last. Honestly, I didn't care. I was a walking zombie and a good few hours of uninterrupted sleep would be flat out glorious.

I shifted around and held up the edge of my blanket, giving Legolas a slight smile as he sighed and snuggled down with me. Facing me this time rather than back to chest. He leaned close and I turned my head so he could get his mouth just that much closer to my ear.

"I can feel the entire weight of the mountains on us. On me," Legolas whispered, hands knotting with mine. He snuggled closer, head pressed against mine, legs tangling up with mine. "Tell me we are safe. Tell me I will see the stars again. Tell me I won't die down here in the black." Even as a whisper I could hear the hitch and choke in the Elf's voice.

I weighed my words carefully, wanting to comfort but unable to risk all the answers he asked for. "I don't know everything," I whispered back as quietly as I could, so no one else would hear me. "But I know that we should be able to rest easy for this stop. Sleep well, Legolas."

I held on to consciousness as long as I could, just until I was sure Legolas was resting, if not completely asleep. Then I zonked.

Next thing I knew Gandalf was waking us all up and deciding we'd take the right branch. We went steadily up and up and up. There were comments about the road being an important one and as we seemed to go higher still, the path widened and we made better and better time.

Our next sleep stop was in a huge hall, Gandalf saying it must be night. It was cold was all I cared about at the moment. Damn it. It'd been nice and warm, almost too warm below, but up here there was a definite draft. Gimli gave us a nice long poem about the place and after a bit more conversation we all settled in to sleep.

I sorta popped out of sleep when Legolas moved. "T'is my turn for watch," he said softly. "Sleep."

I debated. I knew I'd be needing that rest here really soon, but as he turned away, I realized I wouldn't be able to rest if it meant leaving him alone in the dark. I got up, taking my blanket along, and sat with Legolas. "Need you to keep me warm up here," I muttered. I leaned into his side, head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. I didn't sleep, but I did try to meditate and relax a bit. Gather whatever energy I could.

Shit. Balrog time was coming up fast.


End file.
